The Unofficially Unauthorized Religious Tract!

..and they all lived happily ever after. The above was pirated, altered and generally ripped off from the amazing world of Jack T. Chick, cartoonist and general virulent everything-hater. The originals are usually distributed for free, and many out of print are considered collector's items. However, they are also often offensive to Catholics, gay people, low-income people, disaster victims, alcoholics or people suffering from addictions, people suffering from mental illness, Freemasons, women, Pagans, Buddhists, Mormons, parents, single men and women, and pretty much everyone else who couldn't be easily classified as a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. Christianity is a wonderful religion, with a long history of fascinating traditions and pageantry, and most Church leaders have admitted to and apologized for past wrongs, such as the Inquisition, and the world has moved on. I myself hold the Church in high regard, but have no patience for hate-mongering. Besides, these things are so easy to make fun of! This should probably have copyright infringement stamped all over it in large letters, but what the heck. One little insignificant blog in the corner of the world will hopefully go unnoticed. Hopefully this generates some laughs, maybe even a little thought! Guys, we're the people we've been waiting for- make this life what you want of it, and remember, f^@k 'em if they can't take a joke!! Much love

Atlas Voted

Looking through the paper today, I noticed the latest President's address to the nation-some talk about bailing out banks after the vehement efforts to deregulate the banking industry under the Clinton administration. Of course, the Republican's official (correct me if I'm wrong on this, guys) statement is that they will oppose this new measure every inch of the way. The response I make to this- go read first The Communist Manifesto, then go read Atlas Shrugged. The same principle of free market applies in both- how so? Easy. True, Ayn Rand is something of an anti-Communist, and Marx is the father of Communism, but nonetheless, both understate, underestimate and generally just don't get the human factor. In both of these cases, they assume the best about humanity. In an absolute and ideal state, these two ideas would be completely interchangeable, as they operate on the same principle- rational self-interest. In the Communist/Marxist model, we would have a system where those enterpreneurial spirits who can advance industry/what have you are able to do so. In Rand's system, the same. Those who can, ultimately do, as they are able to turn their ideas to make a profit. The question is, where does the profit lie? And here's the curious thing- it's really a question of semantics, as in both cases that which benefits the individual ultimately benefits society. If I meet someone with a good idea that is better than mine, what happens? I then get behind this individual's good idea, perhaps to improve upon it myself with my own ideas, but work for the individual who can provide the greatest good to him/herself and others. Regardless, the society we live in benefits- for what is an individual capitalist without the system in which he operates?
And so on we go- some talk of nationalizing banks, which was the ulitmate downfall of any and every enterprise in Atlas Shrugged. Yet, we're operating on the assumption that since the owners/operators of the banks and corporations did not act in their own rational self-interest, the government will. (I know, this argument is too ludicrous to comment on...) But in neither case has the factor of, well, human fucking up-ness been accounted for. The assumption is once again that humans will act out of self interest. Granted, however, why are they incapable of making short-term sacrifices for what is virtually guaranteed to be a long-term benefit? This is a question I can't readily answer. In other words, why are people (myself included) so damn dumb? Who can say? But as long as someone has been striving to make it idiot-proof, the world produces a better idiot. Is there hope? The economy is in the crapper, circling the drain, the GOP still seems to oppose any real measure that may, more than likely, line our pockets in the long as well as short-term, and the breweries still produce mind-numbing alcohol for the masses. Remind me to put my 401K in Anheuser-Busch, mes amis! Love those who love you, and realize that you can love those who hate you! And if no one hates you, don't be a kiss-ass...

Tuesday Afternoon

...for lack of a better title. Above, that's a giant Buddha (obviously) located in Xumishan, China, somewhat southwest of Beijing. I've also heard it referred to as simply Xumi, but am not sure which is correct. At any rate, this was listed recently in Smithsonian magazine as one of the great cultural treasures of the world to see before it becomes extinct. Judging from the picture above, I would guess the statue has been carved from a sandstone-like material, and according to some reports, is in an earthquake-prone area, and also will suffer the erosion common to exposed stone.

Although this is truly a remarkable structure and a tribute to human ingenuity, I think its destruction has its funny side, too. One of the core ideas of Buddha's teachings was that all things are impermanent- the only constant is change. Without getting too philosophically involved, Buddha said that all things pass away, nothing remains forever. So when we are happy, we should be happy, but not worry constantly about holding on to the source of our happiness, and when we are miserable, we should not constantly be thinking how to avoid misery. The basic idea is take what comes, and don't spend all your time thinking about what will come, as you can lose the present moment. So hence the funny side of this- even such a massive structure can pass away. Although I do think preserving the past is important, too. It's important to let great works stand, if for no other reason as a reminder what we as a people and a planet can do.

So where, you doubtless are asking yourself, is this going? Well, life has thrown a lot at me lately, and it gets so easy to do two things- one, complain and be generally pissed off about stuff, and two, to lose perspective on things. I find that the best way to be in the world is to take a calm and open examination of the world around you. Nothing lasts forever- the trials and tribulations you go through are temporary. Either that, or they kill you, but perhaps that's for the best, too. The universe serves its own ends, and its ends are sane ones, although we may not fully understand them. It's easy, especially for me, to lose the sense of calmness. This has been described (mainly in the Zen schools, but of course other places as well) as Buddha-mind. It means being open and reflective to whatever happens in life. Not to cling to the good and try like hell to avoid the bad, but to simply be open to the experiences the world shows us. It's not be deliriously happy all the time, but rather to simply be. And this is not to say be passive, either. The highest virtue, I believe, is compassion. We're all in it together, as they say in Brazil. But to just put things in perspective, to get out of my own head and my own point of view, that's sometimes the hardest thing in the world. But it can be done. I find meditation to work- sometimes sitting down and concentrating on your breathing is the last thing in the world you want to do, but concentrate long enough and a break will come- perspective regained.

Random Fun With Google

I was surprised to find this- apparently, if you type this into Google, "[your name] likes to" it searches for that specific phrase across the internet- some of them are pretty funny, here's what I came up with for a top 10-

Jake likes to talk handball strategy with fellow players.
Jake likes to listen to Jack Johnson.
Jake likes to characterize problems as opportunities.
Jake likes to take baths in the sink.
Jake likes to just have fun at everyone’s expense.
Jake likes to do lots of things.
Jake likes to read.
Jake likes to have the ball thrown to him on the dock, where he’ll kick it back to them.
Jake likes to work the crowd.
Jake likes to meet new people and receive a pat on the head, then he’s off to do his own exploring.
Some of these are true, some don't make any sense, and some are just weird. Anyway, now you go try it! You know you want to...

The Boogie Man Cometh

Well, it's another day in Paradise. Things are going great with my lady friend, who is so sweet and supportive! Every time I see her, I'm charmed all over again by her smile, the way she looks at me. Could it be that this is the girl I've waited all this time for? I sure think so! I'm not a lovestruck adolescent, and I know a relationship requires work. But at its core every good relationship has a deep and abiding love. And we do- never knew things worked like this! But it makes me want to go out and grab the world by the horns, or whatever else presents itself. Like someone once said, I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum! (Actually, in my case it would probably be kick ass and chew Black Jack, but you get the idea.)

The point being, there's never going to be another now- there's never going to be a better time, because now is the only time we have. The question is what to do with the time we have. Every time I talk to Kitty, I find myself thinking of a life with her- she always looks at me and says, "What?" How to tell her that I'm thinking I've found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with? How to tell her all she means to me? There are only so many ways to say "I love you" and none of them seem to quite cover the depth of what I feel for her. But this is life, is it not? I keep saying it and saying it, how I need to get a new job, get my life together, etc. But it'll never happen unless I do it. That's what I've been spending most of today doing- filling out applications, chasing the almighty dollar. Especially since Kitty's parents are looking to rent out a house- it was something of an odd conversation really, starting with "My mom told me to tell you this..." Clearly, she has high hopes for her daughter and her new beau! So do I, actually. But that would be great- to be on my own again, to have our own place and own life. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather share it with!

No Quarter, No Mercy

It's a new, dark and gloomy day! Looking back on my life, there has been a lot of experiences- some good, some bad. All taught me many things, though. And now, on the edge of a brave new world, the question is- how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?
It all began when I was younger and in college. The nights were not easy for me, being depressed. As a funny coincidence, it was in a class covering diagnosis and evaluation of mental illness that I first learned that I had depression. All this study, and I never looked at my own symptoms. Dawn breaks on Marblehead! But a cure was in order- I used a prescription from Dr. Dubra- take a half liter of cheap-ass vodka and call me when you regain consciousness. This worked, to an extent. Alcohol does not cure depression, in fact, it is a central nervous system depressant, (drunk logic at work here) but it does dull your senses to the point of a peaceful apathy. As time went on, the booze was always there for me, in its self-destructive way. The problem came when drinking became an end in itself, not a means to an end. Fast forward six years or so.
Now I'm working, trying to get my life together. So far, so good. I'm looking to strike out on my own, be my own person for once. I hate to use the whole reinventing myself line, but that seems to be what it is. Finding out who I am apart from what people want me to be. And it's pretty darn cool, I must admit! I had to go through some rough seas, but every time I think about it, all I can see is the world stretching out ahead of me. It's just a question of hard work, really. Hard work has got me this far, and I believe it can carry me wherever I may want to go.