The Nice Guy Syndrome

Some of you may have encountered this on Facebook- if not, here's a link-http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html
Amazing that there's someone out there more long-winded and wordy than I am. But she brings up an interesting point, although to be honest it doesn't really apply to me, being the age I am and apparently such a 'catch' to start with. At least, that's what they tell me. At any rate, the Nice Guy is not unknown to us old dogs. We see them in bars and social situations, and us generally honestly nice guys laugh at them. Yes, I know I'm a nice guy, at least I try to be, and most of the time succeed. I'm human, like anyone, prone to the occasional screw up, sometimes the occasional screw up on an epic scale. But I learned it's always best to be honest about it, to be able to say, "sorry, completely fucked it all up here- can you give me a hand?" This is a better course instead of trying to fix it yourself- some situations are like pregnant women- neither can be unfucked.
But profanity aside, back to the Nice Guy. I have personally known people like this- it seems real genuine nice guys just don't really give a crap, that is, being nice, respectful and kind (sometimes to a fault) is all we know how to do. We don't get how to be jerks, at least for the most part. This is why I find a lot of female attention, it seems. Not to brag, there's only one female whose attentions I want, and I'm pretty sure I'm set on that front. But at the same time, it's nice to be noticed and perhaps even be the subject of envy. I can see nothing wrong with harmless flirtation, as long as no signals get crossed. If flirting wasn't fun, I would guess there'd be a lm,ot less of it going on right now. And besides, there are occasions when you're genuinely interested in the weird stuff someone is talking about.
Take the gym as a for example- I was in the gym the other day, with a bunch of other people, one of whom was a pretty gal who was talking to pretty much anyone within earshot, which happened to be me on the next weight bench over at the moment. So there we were, her gabbing away without a care in the world, simultaneously to me and maybe two other people, about how sex figures into a relationship, and how intelligence is also important. The conversation turned to how she would rather date a "nerdy" guy than a cute one, as she was looking for intellectual stimulation instead of just sex. So, I pointed out that one does not have to be nerdy to be intellectual, the two are not necessarily the same. This conversation had already taken several turns for the bizarre, and continued on across several more sets of exercises. This would be a case where it could be interpreted as a flirt, although if I talk to someone, it's generally because what they're saying is interesting- vapid, unintelligent people are extremely hard to flirt with. I could have cared less that she was attractive, although typical guy, the fact didn't escape my notice. It was just a friendly and for my own interests, an interesting thing to do while working out. This seems to me to be the nice guy in action- you do something nice not because you expect a reward, but because it seems like the natural or right thing to do. You talk to someone not because you want to make a move on them, but because they are interesting. It could be, if you're a single nice guy, you get shot down. That's ok, you say. No need to say, "well, I'm too good for her," or any such ego-sparing nonsense.
Again, seems nice guys can kind of put ego on the shelf- not that they necessarily have low self-esteem, they just don't need it constantly validated. I'll tell you, when my lady love tells me I'm a hunky guy with gorgeous brown eyes and a wonderful heart, I feel about twenty feet tall! But at the same time, I don't need to be constantly reminded of how awesome I am, or why I'm such a great guy. If I screw up, I know someone will let me know. That doesn't crush me either, it sends me back to the mental drawing board to re-evaluate- why did we suck? How can we not suck in the future?
Then there's sex. Bars used to crack me up, because there would be The Guy in everyone from here to Kathmandu. The Guy will chase after every gal that comes through the door- Family Guy fans, picture Glenn Quagmire on speed and you've pretty much got it. We used to laugh at The Guy. The Guy seems to rebound from endless rejections, then jumps right back into the fray. Weird! On occasion The Guy will score a number, or even rarer occasions, will escort a member of the opposite (or same, I hung out in some pretty unusual places) sex out of the bar. The Guys were to a one transparent and rather phony, and women would usually spot them like they were walking around in an old Max Fleischer cartoon wearing one of those Eat At Joe's sandwich boards. Women have probably guessed that The Guy is a good source for a couple rounds of drinks, then book it on out of there. This too, made me laugh. If I'm buying a round, it's because I like you, not because I want to get in your pants.
So it seems that throughout all of this, nice guys are just that- nice guys. Really all it is is put your ego aside and listen to another person. For some people, this can be tough. And like with all of us, myself included, there are times you're too wrapped up in yourself to notice the world around you. Hey, it happens. Once again, put ego aside, look at the situation for what it is, and look at the world, yourself and your fellow people with truly open eyes. This is the first step towards becoming one of these fabled nice guys, and finding happiness in this life.