The Ice Cream Man

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst; every other species of tyranny is limited to the world we live in, but this attempts to stride beyond the grave, and seeks to pursue us into eternity.
-Thomas Paine

Monsterpants? This movie could be worth checking out. At any rate, thought the picture was funny, even more so than Photoshopping those creepy-ass Chick tracts. Way back in the archive is my own demented work, took me a good month of reading those hellish things to put a good one together. Anyway, it's out there somewhere, because supposedly once you put something on the Internet, it never truly goes away.
At any rate, I think between Satan and Jack Chick I trust Satan more- at least you know where you stand.

Here at Fort Sill, it's about the same old story, except that I didn't have to get up at 3 AM to go to work. I did, however, have to get up at 5, meaning I actually got a decent night's sleep. Amazing what a difference a few hours makes! At any rate, now that that's all over, I'm trying to get back in the habit of working out every day, most likely after work, although this week I have evening missions that I don't mind at all, but do kind of cut into gym time. Luckily I have a block of time off in the afternoon to go to the gym, then come here and goof around and write my various inanities. As usual, I find myself wishing I could run faster- there's nothing physically wrong with me except a tendency towards anemia, which is easily corrected with iron pills. Perhaps it's the extra muscle mass; the heavier the body, the more energy needs to be expended to move it. Or maybe I need to change the way I train, though at this point I'm not positive how.

Nicknames seem to follow you- though I guess you can encourage the ones you either like or don't mind. Everyone in my platoon is getting a nickname, it seems- here's the complete list so far, with actual names excluded for obvious reasons-

- Monica

- Steel Trap

- Jeff (as in Jeff Foxworthy)

- Young Blood

- Crusty

- Water Dog

- Reaper (as in Don't Fear The Reaper)

- Ice Cream, or Ice Cream Man (mine). How this came to be is a long and complicated story, but the explanation I'm going to give here (which is actually cooler than the real story) is that I'm cold and smooth, and a comfort to the ladies, ha ha. (Okay, I made up that last part). It always puts me in mind of cult-movie hero Reggie Bannister, who appeared in the Phantasm movies, and was originally an ice cream vendor by trade. Later, when the Tall Man, villain of the movies, (played by the incomporable Angus Scrimm) shows up, he turns monster-hunter, and creates one of the most patently impossible pieces of weaponry ever to grace the screen- a four-barrelled sawed-off shotgun. While this is feasible, the problem is that the barrels are cut at an angle, resulting in the four barrels forming a point. The problem with this is that theoretically this could work with buckshot, a single projectile would exit the barrel on one side sooner than the other, creating either a flat spin, or the round going off who knows where- definitely not towards anything the weapon was pointed at, at any rate. Sawed-off shotguns are notorious for short range, as would be the case with assault shotguns. (Characterized by a pistol grip and pump action, Mossberg makes several models common among law enforcement personnel.)

Speaking of weaponry, this weekend some damn fool went and got in major trouble for pointing a firearm at their spouse- this is the extent of anything I know about it, just that one person pointed a weapon at the other, managing to violate pretty much all known laws of firearm safety. So we had to go get a briefing on it, the sum total of which is, don't keep illegal firearms and don't keep firearms where they're not supposed to be, like in the barracks, as a for example. Did we really need a briefing for that? Last time I checked you get weapons safety drummed into your head from basic training onwards. Nonetheless, though I am quite capable of using one to good effect, I don't like firearms. I think they are ugly and terrible things, existing only to kill. Though this is an occasional necessity, still, it's one of the more unpleasant ones in life. Nonetheless, firearms can be dangerous in the wrong hands, and I'm prone to agree with the pro-gun people, that education and familiarity are the best safety measures. Experience tells me that when you know what a weapon is capable of doing, it gives you a good deal of respect for it.

Well, the evening mission will be rolling out sooner rather than later, meaning time to report back in for me. Today I get to drive the nicer, newer truck! Sometimes it's the little things that can make your day. So stay well, and don't drink the Tenafly Viper! Don't drink and drive, either.