For Whom The Bell Tolls

Yeah, the devil

ride a dinosaur

He paint the monster red

so the blood don't stain the floor

-Rob Zombie, Never Gonna Stop

After much deliberation, I've decided not to reenlist. Not that I'm pissed off at the Army, (more like I'm fed up with my battalion, but that's another story) but rather it's just getting a little too hard to fight the government to try and do your job. "We need to cut spending"- the cry goes up on Capital Hill. (Or is it Capitol Hill? I think the latter there, so excuse my misspelling). Actually, now that I look back on it, that was kind of a funny yet completely unintentional pun. But I digress. The Army is looking to cut out jobs- apparently one of the drawbacks of a Democrat in the White House is a limit to what under the previous administration was a bottomless treasury as far as the military was concerned. Sure, most of it went to contractor/cronies, but us grunts got a piece of the pie too in terms of profitable employment, as well as the US's quagmire-building efforts in the Middle East. Hey, good work if you can get it, I suppose.

Well, cynicism aside, it's now cut back soldiers. I've even heard that the 2-4th Artillery is on the chopping block! Well, I can't count on six hands the number of cost-ineffective measures that Fort Sill employs, so this actually makes a fair degree of sense. Close the unnecessary posts, though I hope against hope the long and fascinating history of Fort Sill is preserved, along with the Artillery Museum. Fort Sill was the first place the MLRS systems were tested, and the first post to deploy MLRS units in combat, with devastating results. The MLRS is a Multiple Launch Rocket System, basically a big track vehicle with a targeting computer in the cockpit, allowing for a very large rocket (or rockets) to be fired over a very long distance, blowing stuff up most gratuitously. Though I'll be the first to admit, these things are terrible implements of war and destruction, they do look cool on test fires. The best weapon is one you never have to fire, after all. But at any rate, there is a great deal of history there, and actually if Fort Sill is closed, it will effectively destroy Lawton- there is a Goodyear plant there, but I doubt this alone will provide sufficient income and opportunities to support the town. Sad, but true.

Also sad but true is the fact that any optimism and human-kindness I once felt is being systematically squeezed out of me by the daily stresses of this job. This is no longer Fort Benning, where I was proud to march across the parade grounds, proud to stand up and be counted as a soldier. Then again, what I am forced to do on a daily basis is no work for a soldier. Thus, it's one of two things for me- reclass, that is, change my job in the Army, probably winding up back at Fort Benning as infantry (could be worse, believe me), or go civilian, trying my hand in the outside world. I hate to lose all the benefits of the Army, but I know ultimately if it means dealing with another 696th all over again, it'll hustle me into an early grave, and will make me a bitter person. Besides, in all seriousness, I think I can do better. I'd like to run my own business, which seems to be the only way I can do things the way I know full well they should be done.

So at any rate, I've decided I can't waste 20 years of my life doing this- I could spend 20 years of my life running around in the woods, running around in Afghanistan, blowing stuff up, training people to blow stuff up, and all the positives about the Army, but I just can't take the staggering level of bureacracy that is the Army. No one should have to fight to do what they're good at.

Often I wonder what factors the town plays in this. Lawton seems to be a nexus of negative energy, though to what extent this is created by the people here is unknown to me. I know it does create a kind of gravitational well, much like a planet. (This is why stuff orbits a planet- because of gravity). Thus, like draws like. However, if this is the case, on an individual level it should be possible to counteract this- that is, be positive yourself, and positivity will find you. Be proactive rather than reactive, is another way to put this. Food for thought, anyway. But I do know my future does not lie at Fort Sill. This instills a deep sadness in me, but the fates must have something else in mind for me. As Walter Cronkite would say, "That's just the way it is".