Counting Down

Today is the day we'll more than likely go get a marriage license, which is a useful thing to have for getting married. Seems like we've come such a long way, plowing through countless obstacles, overcoming everything else and finally coming to this final juncture of events. Where do we go from here? Well, Tabatha's going to need a new car, or need her current one repaired. She bought it second or ninth-hand, and, as seems to be the trend with cars built in the later half of the 20th century, it experienced catastrophic collapse. Someone once mentioned this to me- that after around say, 1960 or so, a seeming change occurred in the automotive industry. Cars began to have a finite life span; they were designed to live up to a certain point, then beyond that it becomes impractical to repair them, rather just replace them and junk the old one. Though I'm far from an expert mechanic, I do love to see an older car that's been maintained, and taken from its humble roots and made into something exceptional. At any rate, a great deal of the problems with her car stem from virtually no maintenance being done on this vehicle in its prime. Parts have failed and stresses show due to the fact that none of these things were properly addressed when they should have been. But Tabatha needed a car, and the van, with its then-unknown issues, was within her price range. Well, live and learn. No fault of Tabatha's I think, save a faith in humanity.
Which brings me to an interesting point. I've noticed over time that she has an independent streak; she doesn't like to rely on other people. Which is admirable, though sometimes it's quite all right to ask for help when you need it. She just doesn't want to be dependent on other people all the time, considering it a sign of weakness. This isn't as black and white as she seems to think; there are more factors to consider than simply just whether or not you need help with something. Can't make the rent this month because you spent all the rent money on pot and hookers? This is one thing. Finding yourself in extenuating circumstances, and you're not sure how to proceed? That's another entirely. It took me a long time to learn this too, to ask for help when you need it. But she can't seem to get out of the mindset of us being separate entities- and this is true, to some extent. However, part of getting married is that we share the burdens in life. I'm all too happy to help,and trust her completely. But Tabatha wants to do it on her own- not just because she's stubborn (well, okay, maybe that too), but because it's probably a habit at this point. I'll keep on reminding her, however- she's not alone, and we have a common goal throughout this. If I need to sink some funds into a car, no sweat. What are husbands for, after all? I know it'll all work out in the end, though. Just sometimes the here and now can be a major bitch. I'm wondering if it would be easier to send my car up here and let her use it. It's not exactly a Rolls, but it runs and will possibly be big enough for the dogs. Either way, I'm planning on keeping up payments, then possibly using it for a trade-in when I get back from this deployment. But the problem is, that's a lot easier on me than it is on her, in some ways. See, I'll be overseas, with no need for a vehicle. Tabatha will be here in the states. Though not getting shot at (I hope), she faces a whole different set of challenges. The main sticking point here is figuring out how to get Tabatha into a better position. Being married, the "all for one, and one for all" rule definitely applies, but beyond that, I need to come up with a more coherent plan; this may sound silly, but I find it useful to sit down, write or think it out, and devise steps to take. Whatever works, I guess.
The good news is, the wedding is fast approaching! There's a few preparations still to make, but everything's definitely coming together. What lies beyond that next bend in the road? Can't wait to find out.