Begin Again

Lately it seems time to start over- time for a change. Things in this world are not so much difficult, as just seeming to be a lot of effort for very little difference. This life sits heavy on my shoulders- but everyone, I'm sure, feels that way now and again. I'd like to think I'm on the verge of something new- a new career, a new start. I'm 30 years old, not old by any standards, but am well aware that my younger days are behind me. But like an old Checker cab, I'll never die, just get decomissioned some day. Actually, I find myself smarter and in better shape than when I was younger. In the meanwhile, things drag on each day. I won't say there's no point in getting out of bed in the morning, because if there isn't, I can usually make something up. And besides that, there is always a reason to face the day. There were times when I wasn't able to do that-so now I make it a point to stay focused. But at the same time, it's like there's some force sucking the life out of me, making every step an effort. This is why I think it's time for a change.
A part of me wants to leave New England and move somewhere else- make a new start, where the sun shines and living expenses are less. Where I get assigned after AIT is unclear- I know for a good three or four months I'll be decidedly south of the Mas0n-Dixon line, no doubt growing used to accents that now sound strange to me. After that, I'm not sure. I don't know how much leeway I get in choosing an assignment, or if it's just whatever comes down the pike. Either way, I know myself and the kids will be taken care of. For me, the hardest part will be being apart from the kids. I don't mind moving around a good deal, and in fact look forward to seeing the world. But at the same time, I want the best for the dynamic duo. Actually, this was one of the main reasons for enlisting in the first place- I saw the service as an opportunity to work hard and not have to worry about anything else- do your job, and let the bean counters do theirs. And so far, that has been the case. This explains the huge rise in enlistments the military has seen- the civilian world is drying up, so to speak, but we could always use more cannon fodder. Or, in my case, more intelligent cannon fodder. I hold out hope for the family, hope for myself. But in the end, it's not the size of the paycheck- rather, it's what your life was that really counts.