It's a Saturday, spent the morning running out to Ambrosia Springs. There's an old stone building there filled with water. This makes some degree of sense, seeing as the building is right next to the river. Presumably at some point it was a well house, but now it's just a convenient point of reference. Seems there are a lot of old buildings around Fort Sill like that, that stay for historical rather than practical reasons. But that's OK, tradition and history are important. I guess that's why the gym still has the same paint since 1950-something. Well, it does lend the place a certain character- the high ceilings, exposed ductwork and old paint put you in mind of an old boxing gym, and I find this to be an interesting motivation.
Today is, of course, the first of August, and it's still hot in the South. Some things don't change, it seems. Yesterday, the last day of July, I did another reading, mainly to see what the month ahead looks like. I used the extended Celtic Cross spread, which seems to work well- here are the results-
The first position showed the King of Wands- interesting, though in my case it tells of a good complement to Air, my element. Wands, of course, representing Fire, it tells of a continued supply of energy to a good work, and a hardworking, dedicated person.
The card covering htis was the Ace of Cups- again, a good sign. Kind of like all the elements are starting to come together, for one common purpose, as it were.
Now here's where it gets interesting- the Past position showed the Judgement card- not to be confused with Justice, this is actually one of those Judeo-Christian ones that throws people. The Rider-Waite image shows the Last Judgement, but the card carries the meaning of things revealed- things that had lain hidden, or just unknown, now come to light. This could be an internal or external process, though I think in this case it refers more to an internal one-things that had been hidden mentally come to light, providing strength and strategy for the upcoming fight.
In the Aspirations/Hopes position is the Knight of Cups- I take this to indicate a transitional period- things moving towards a more definite end, moving towards a new equilibrium. And this is very much the case, things moving towards a new state of being.
In the Near Future position, another telling card. Here is the Queen of Swords, reversed. I know who the Queen is, and why the card is in a reversed position. This is one of those tricky situations where the cards have multiple meanings, or perhaps a better way to put it would be multiple levels of meaning. The Queen reversed means the more negative aspects of the card- a woman manipulative, cold and jaded, or bent on some purpose, yet unwilling to see what could be a better solution, and pressing on even at the cost of destruction. It would be easy at this point to kind of see what I want to see in the cards, but I know better. It's a warning to beware of this person, as she's going to raise some trouble in the near future. Those familiar with the situation know who she is, I won't belabor the point here.
Now in the seventh position, telling of the Future, is the 9 of Wands and the Queen of Wands. Another Queen, though this one is similarly easy to interpret. It would be my fiancee, Tabatha! She is almost always the Queen of Wands, though occasionally Swords as well. (I extrapolate this from the question and the surrounding cards, not just what I hope it is). The Nine of Wands tells of a hard-won fight, of a respite after the battle, the eye of the storm.
The eighth position tells of hopes and fears, and here is the Magician and Page of Swords. The Magician tells of a desire to take the reins and run the future, while the Page tells again of a new beginning, a shift towards something new, and with this, a hope that things will improve, and all will be well soon.
The ninth position tells of hidden influences, and here is the 3 of Wands and the 6 of Pentacles- the Three points to a change on the horizon, establishing a new home, working towards a common goal- what was worked for has been manifested, and things are beginning to develop. The 6 again points towards balance and equanimity- as things move forwards, it's towards a definite end, and a new harmony.
The tenth position tells of the Outcome- here is the 3 of Swords reversed, and the Page of Pentacles. Again, another Page tells of a new start, of things beginning anew. The Three of Swords reversed can tell of a number of things- something blocked, or something fading out of influence. I take this to indicate here the negative energy of getting to this point, the heartbreak and sorrows. These things are now passing away- the cloud has gone, and makes way for a new dawn.
Though the cards also tell me that things are not going to happen without effort- advancement will come at a price. Although it may be hard to see the goal sometimes, the end will be worth it in the long run.
This is a change from previous readings, and seems to be following a progression- things are going from being set up, the dominoes waiting to fall, to now the beginnings being set in motion- things start to happen, and a chain reaction begins.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Cannibalization Point
Another day on detail here at good old Ft. Sill, beginning with one of the odder games of football I've played. We decided to use a football, as well as a Frisbee. Both are in play, and either one can be used to score. It did make things more interesting. After that, off to detail again. We drove over multiple interesting terrain features in a Humvee with about enough shocks to keep it from cracking the oil pan, but not a lot else. Fun? You bet! There's nothing quite like bouncing around through grass up past the windows, plowing crossways across ditches, while your TC is sitting next to you saying, "I'm pretty sure the road goes through here, it's just overgrown...". Well, the good news is, it's very hard to get lost in a field, so just sit back and enjoy the ride! It was a lot of fun though.
We also passed a number of interesting sites along the way- there was the prison, which has tons of razor wire along the fence as well as the outside top edge of the building, and a large sign right over the door saying "FIRM BUT FAIR". I've never found out quite what they meant, and don't really want to, and doubt I'll ever be in enough trouble to find out.
There's also the cannibalization point, with a sign out front advising you that this is the cannibalization point. What do you do at the cannibalization point? Though this idea is preferable to MREs, it rather refers to the process of stripping down vehicles that have been damaged, worn out or otherwise rendered inoperable for usable parts. The usable parts then wind up in training vehicles, or put into another, operable vehicle. Still, it's a pretty cool name.
In other news, I watched a really good movie last night. A change from my usual fare of horror films, (Henry Rollins as a priest employed by the Vatican... I just don't know). The movie I saw was Coraline, a stop-motion animated film that was both good and weird. The title character is a little girl who moves into an old house, discovering a concealed door leading her to a kind of parallel world, where people have button eyes (this is never adequately explained) and it seems everything she wants is right there. However, things go south as she realizes the controlling force behind this world, her "Other Mother", is not exactly the benevolent lady she seems. I won't give the ending away, as it's frankly on the bizarre side. But it's very good, and I'd recommend it for adults and children alike. There's a talking cat (of course) who for some odd reason makes me think of the long-gone Wolfman Jack. But the movie is kind of standard fairy-tale stuff, but extremely well-done, though watch it from the beginning for it to make any sense at all.
Apart from that, looks like the Arizona immigration laws are still up in the air. Which makes me ask the question, who wants to go to Arizona anyway? Though I guess I can see the interest, I've driven the trackless wastes of Nevada and found a certain strange beauty in it. An hour's drive at 80 miles an hour from anywhere is both a frightening and thrilling prospect. I don't claim to know the whole of the law, but it seems to me that basically what you have here is that the police or similar law enforcement can ask for proof of citizenship when they have a cause to investigate, say, they pull someone over for a traffic stop. I can see both sides of this issue- if you're in the country illegally, the operant word here is illegal. But on the other hand, I can see how this would kind of single out people of a darker complexion than others. Your ancestors are never something to be ashamed of, I've learned. Nor is your ethnicity. But at the same time, what jurisdiction does this change? Do the taxpayers of Arizona have the financial clout to prosecute every last case of illegal immigration? And besides, why not allow a more lax immigration policy, if people want to get into this country so bad? The last time I checked, people employed in this country pay taxes in this country. Taxes mean additional governmental revenue. But if you're in this country illegally, chances are you don't pay taxes, and this presents a problem, if you're getting paid under the counter. Then the IRS comes knocking, and it's time to head for the hills. Clearly, it's a complex problem being painted in black and white by politicians. A difficult problem- this is why I don't like politics!
Once upon a long time ago, a professor told me I should go into politics. I originally held to this idea- yes, I thought, I could make a difference! I could turn things around, make the world so much better with my idealistic goals and aspirations! And surely I can convince everyone that the short-term gains are to be eschewed for the long-term benefits!
Enter reality. I was pretty disillusioned when I found out how politics actually work, and I'm sorry to say it made me a bit of a cynic. But in some small way, I'd like to think trying to do good wherever and whenever I can makes the world just that much of a better place. It could be giving a friend a ride, picking up a bill for lunch, or some small thing like that.
We also passed a number of interesting sites along the way- there was the prison, which has tons of razor wire along the fence as well as the outside top edge of the building, and a large sign right over the door saying "FIRM BUT FAIR". I've never found out quite what they meant, and don't really want to, and doubt I'll ever be in enough trouble to find out.
There's also the cannibalization point, with a sign out front advising you that this is the cannibalization point. What do you do at the cannibalization point? Though this idea is preferable to MREs, it rather refers to the process of stripping down vehicles that have been damaged, worn out or otherwise rendered inoperable for usable parts. The usable parts then wind up in training vehicles, or put into another, operable vehicle. Still, it's a pretty cool name.
In other news, I watched a really good movie last night. A change from my usual fare of horror films, (Henry Rollins as a priest employed by the Vatican... I just don't know). The movie I saw was Coraline, a stop-motion animated film that was both good and weird. The title character is a little girl who moves into an old house, discovering a concealed door leading her to a kind of parallel world, where people have button eyes (this is never adequately explained) and it seems everything she wants is right there. However, things go south as she realizes the controlling force behind this world, her "Other Mother", is not exactly the benevolent lady she seems. I won't give the ending away, as it's frankly on the bizarre side. But it's very good, and I'd recommend it for adults and children alike. There's a talking cat (of course) who for some odd reason makes me think of the long-gone Wolfman Jack. But the movie is kind of standard fairy-tale stuff, but extremely well-done, though watch it from the beginning for it to make any sense at all.
Apart from that, looks like the Arizona immigration laws are still up in the air. Which makes me ask the question, who wants to go to Arizona anyway? Though I guess I can see the interest, I've driven the trackless wastes of Nevada and found a certain strange beauty in it. An hour's drive at 80 miles an hour from anywhere is both a frightening and thrilling prospect. I don't claim to know the whole of the law, but it seems to me that basically what you have here is that the police or similar law enforcement can ask for proof of citizenship when they have a cause to investigate, say, they pull someone over for a traffic stop. I can see both sides of this issue- if you're in the country illegally, the operant word here is illegal. But on the other hand, I can see how this would kind of single out people of a darker complexion than others. Your ancestors are never something to be ashamed of, I've learned. Nor is your ethnicity. But at the same time, what jurisdiction does this change? Do the taxpayers of Arizona have the financial clout to prosecute every last case of illegal immigration? And besides, why not allow a more lax immigration policy, if people want to get into this country so bad? The last time I checked, people employed in this country pay taxes in this country. Taxes mean additional governmental revenue. But if you're in this country illegally, chances are you don't pay taxes, and this presents a problem, if you're getting paid under the counter. Then the IRS comes knocking, and it's time to head for the hills. Clearly, it's a complex problem being painted in black and white by politicians. A difficult problem- this is why I don't like politics!
Once upon a long time ago, a professor told me I should go into politics. I originally held to this idea- yes, I thought, I could make a difference! I could turn things around, make the world so much better with my idealistic goals and aspirations! And surely I can convince everyone that the short-term gains are to be eschewed for the long-term benefits!
Enter reality. I was pretty disillusioned when I found out how politics actually work, and I'm sorry to say it made me a bit of a cynic. But in some small way, I'd like to think trying to do good wherever and whenever I can makes the world just that much of a better place. It could be giving a friend a ride, picking up a bill for lunch, or some small thing like that.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Peace, Love and Hard Liquor
Which makes me ask the question- who or what is a "wommers?" Is that singular or plural Redneckese? I'd like to think I speak pretty good Redneck, (my southern friends, you know I'm just yanking your chain), but to date have never encountered a wommers, or wommer for that matter. At any rate, it's another day, another workout. I'm waiting for the sun to sink low in the sky (because baby, I'm Venus bound...) Actually because it may actually be cooler, and I'm going to take a run up to a little corner of nowhere called Ambrosia Springs. No real reason, it's just a pretty spot. Hopefully I can outrun the horseflies, too. This weekend looks like a great shot at doing some hiking, too. It's funny, all the time I've been down here, it never occurred to me to get out there and appreciate some of the great outdoors down here. And there's a good deal of it, though one would do well to steer clear of the places marked "Impact Area". This is a pretty easy task, they're pretty well delineated, and well off the beaten and/or paved path. Well, this'll be a short entry, but hope all is well!
Fingernails on the Chalkboard of Awareness
Today was a pretty good day, all things considered, apart from being plagued with weird dreams. Oh well, into every life a little weirdness must fall, I guess. I did get to see Medicine Bluffs, which is out in the middle of nowhere, but then again so is Fort Sill. Looks like a good place to go hiking, at any rate. I'm looking forward to doing this some weekend, hopefully sooner rather than later. I hear there's good fishing out that way too. Well, I'll need a license before I do that!
It seems that sometimes the world gets dumber. Take the gates, as a for example. Like any military post, Fort Sill has gates. These gates, are of course, monitored for security reasons. But here's the thing- as probably makes sense, you register your car/truck/motorcycle with the police department, and get a sticker. The sticker goes in your window, thereby identifying your vehicle as registered with the police department on post. So far, quite sane. Now, what then would be the point of having vehicles trying to get on post line up from the gate all the way back to Tenessee somewhere so the security personnel can check each and every person's ID card? Does the posession of a military ID not thereby make the sticker somewhat redundant? If the vehicle is reported stolen (which, I would guess, would be the case if it was, oh, let's say, stolen), would it not then make sense to report that to the same security people who are at the gate?
And here's another gem- if you don't have a handy little sticker, guess what? Your vehicle gets checked (not searched) every time you need to go onto post, creating, yes, more delays. If you have a sticker, it seems that you are thereby completely incapable of bringing anything dangerous, explosive, biohazardous or just plain nasty onto post. So if you don't have a sticker, the chances are you're a terrorist, so writing your name down on a piece of paper will surely foil your plans of vehicle-borne explosive mayhem. And it would have worked too, if it weren't for you meddling kids! Doubtless we'll all sleep better at night knowing that the person who drove onto post with a shotgun in the back seat and a fire ax and industrial garbage bags in the trunk was properly documented before he murdered thirty people. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for making the post, as well as the surrounding town, a safer place! But brass, come on guys. A little common sense goes a long way!
So Greenpeace has closed down some BP stations in Great Britain, being their usual eccentric and over-the-top selves. I've got to admit, that's pretty funny. As is the fact that the company will likely go bankrupt from all the lawsuits. Will this mean a change in energy research trends? I figure the odds of that are about as good as me dating Helena Bonham Carter. Still, one can dream. Will there be jail time for those responsible? See, that's the thing about corporations- they seem to be very much slippery legal entities! Where does the corporation end and the person responsible begin? Corporations exist to act as legal entities; a person is a legal entity, and as such can own property, sue or be sued, and all that good stuff. So a corporation is, in the eyes of the law, a person. The corporation can own property, sue someone, etc. This seems to be something to hide behind legally- "It wasn't me, it was the one-armed corporation!" A corporation, being a non-person, cannot make decisions. Individuals employed by that corporation can. Would I be able to incorporate myself, (I can, as can anyone) and then go run someone over with my car, and blame it on the corporation? I am not the corporation, so though I acted on behalf of the corporation, can I be prosecuted? No, and here's why- a corporation has separate assets from the individuals that comprise it. If it's a publicly traded entity (a characteristic of corporations is that they must be), those assets must be kept separate from my personal assets. My liability is thereby limited to the amount of assets contained in the corporation. My personal assets are not at risk, and cannot be claimed. Of course, I'd still be going to jail based on criminal actions by myself, but that's different. My corporation would live on. But at any rate, the point of all this madness being, it's just a little too easy to hide behind the corporation, and then have the people actually responsible for these actions to slide by. And unfortunately, that seems to be the case with BP. No one is prosecuting them! It seems to be just a big pass-the-buck party, meanwhile, things are getting a little bit fucked up. When the oceans start catching fire, perhaps then we'll take notice. But that Greenpeace stunt was funny as hell though.
News seems to be little help here. The latest headline that caught my eye on CNN this morning? "Inmates Sick of Lindsay Lohan". Well, smack my rear end and call me Nancy, SO ARE THE REST OF US! She got off with a slap on the wrist for multiple DUIs- well, that's interesting, if I was still drinking might like to know the trick of that one! Like every other celebrity death, misdemeanor, scandal or coming-out-of the closet, it don't bother me, as Unknown Hinson has been known to comment. So what do I do? Go read the paper, that's what. Besides, there are crossword puzzles in the paper.
It seems that sometimes the world gets dumber. Take the gates, as a for example. Like any military post, Fort Sill has gates. These gates, are of course, monitored for security reasons. But here's the thing- as probably makes sense, you register your car/truck/motorcycle with the police department, and get a sticker. The sticker goes in your window, thereby identifying your vehicle as registered with the police department on post. So far, quite sane. Now, what then would be the point of having vehicles trying to get on post line up from the gate all the way back to Tenessee somewhere so the security personnel can check each and every person's ID card? Does the posession of a military ID not thereby make the sticker somewhat redundant? If the vehicle is reported stolen (which, I would guess, would be the case if it was, oh, let's say, stolen), would it not then make sense to report that to the same security people who are at the gate?
And here's another gem- if you don't have a handy little sticker, guess what? Your vehicle gets checked (not searched) every time you need to go onto post, creating, yes, more delays. If you have a sticker, it seems that you are thereby completely incapable of bringing anything dangerous, explosive, biohazardous or just plain nasty onto post. So if you don't have a sticker, the chances are you're a terrorist, so writing your name down on a piece of paper will surely foil your plans of vehicle-borne explosive mayhem. And it would have worked too, if it weren't for you meddling kids! Doubtless we'll all sleep better at night knowing that the person who drove onto post with a shotgun in the back seat and a fire ax and industrial garbage bags in the trunk was properly documented before he murdered thirty people. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for making the post, as well as the surrounding town, a safer place! But brass, come on guys. A little common sense goes a long way!
So Greenpeace has closed down some BP stations in Great Britain, being their usual eccentric and over-the-top selves. I've got to admit, that's pretty funny. As is the fact that the company will likely go bankrupt from all the lawsuits. Will this mean a change in energy research trends? I figure the odds of that are about as good as me dating Helena Bonham Carter. Still, one can dream. Will there be jail time for those responsible? See, that's the thing about corporations- they seem to be very much slippery legal entities! Where does the corporation end and the person responsible begin? Corporations exist to act as legal entities; a person is a legal entity, and as such can own property, sue or be sued, and all that good stuff. So a corporation is, in the eyes of the law, a person. The corporation can own property, sue someone, etc. This seems to be something to hide behind legally- "It wasn't me, it was the one-armed corporation!" A corporation, being a non-person, cannot make decisions. Individuals employed by that corporation can. Would I be able to incorporate myself, (I can, as can anyone) and then go run someone over with my car, and blame it on the corporation? I am not the corporation, so though I acted on behalf of the corporation, can I be prosecuted? No, and here's why- a corporation has separate assets from the individuals that comprise it. If it's a publicly traded entity (a characteristic of corporations is that they must be), those assets must be kept separate from my personal assets. My liability is thereby limited to the amount of assets contained in the corporation. My personal assets are not at risk, and cannot be claimed. Of course, I'd still be going to jail based on criminal actions by myself, but that's different. My corporation would live on. But at any rate, the point of all this madness being, it's just a little too easy to hide behind the corporation, and then have the people actually responsible for these actions to slide by. And unfortunately, that seems to be the case with BP. No one is prosecuting them! It seems to be just a big pass-the-buck party, meanwhile, things are getting a little bit fucked up. When the oceans start catching fire, perhaps then we'll take notice. But that Greenpeace stunt was funny as hell though.
News seems to be little help here. The latest headline that caught my eye on CNN this morning? "Inmates Sick of Lindsay Lohan". Well, smack my rear end and call me Nancy, SO ARE THE REST OF US! She got off with a slap on the wrist for multiple DUIs- well, that's interesting, if I was still drinking might like to know the trick of that one! Like every other celebrity death, misdemeanor, scandal or coming-out-of the closet, it don't bother me, as Unknown Hinson has been known to comment. So what do I do? Go read the paper, that's what. Besides, there are crossword puzzles in the paper.
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Strange Tale of Monday Morning
Today was Monday morning- that means a run for PT! I was happy, though I'll tell you, either I'm getting older or those hills are getting bigger! But I wound up at the front of the formation, and stayed there. It was kind of tough, but tough is good! In other physical-type stuff, I figured out why I got tendonitis in one wrist and not the other. (No, not because my lady friend is a thousand miles away...) I was at the gym today and noticed it's the way I do bench presses- somehow I manage to twist that wrist, resulting in strain on it. Weird! Oh well, now that I know I do it, correcting it is too easy. The really weird thing is, it doesn't matter if it's a barbell or a nautilus machine, I still manage to hold the bar just so.
Speaking of which, today was a day for compliments, so thank you guys, who may not be reading this. First, someone told me, "I saw this big dude walking across the parking lot the other day, and all of a sudden, realized, 'wow, that's Chipman!'." Then when someone was looking for me for a detail, (I was where I was supposed to be, this is probably why they couldn't find me), they said, "Oh, yeah, they said just look for the big dude who looks like he wrestles gators, that's him."
Well, can't say there are gators here, at least not that I know of. Bears, yes, and buffalo, as well as prairie dogs. I haven't wrestled any of them, and don't really think that would be a good idea. But anyway, point being I try to work out seven days a week. I'm not obsessed, or vain about my appearance, I just don't have anything else to do. And besides, it feels good to kick the crap out of yourself, then go heal up and do it all again. Besides besides, there are a lot of really scenic runs around post. A particular area called Medicine Bluff gives you a pretty spectacular view of the surrounding hills, as well as the artillery ranges. They are pretty much trees and fields, as they are impact areas, so not used for anything else. On top of this, my fiancee told me a few days ago I look like (action movie star) Vin Diesel, who is also a pretty big dude. I'm guessing it was more than just the shaved head. The funny thing is, I can honestly say I'm not that concerned about my appearance. I do try to take care of myself, and try to avoid looking like a bum, but don't go to the gym just to look good. (That's just a fringe benefit) I go because it tends to keep me out of trouble, and because of regular PT tests the Army has. I'm not a very fast runner, but can plow through ten miles in a little over an hour. Why, you ask, do I want to do this? Well, the best answer I can come up with is why climb the mountain? Because you want to see what's on top? No, simply because it's there. Why run and work out? Because I can.
Speaking of which, today was a day for compliments, so thank you guys, who may not be reading this. First, someone told me, "I saw this big dude walking across the parking lot the other day, and all of a sudden, realized, 'wow, that's Chipman!'." Then when someone was looking for me for a detail, (I was where I was supposed to be, this is probably why they couldn't find me), they said, "Oh, yeah, they said just look for the big dude who looks like he wrestles gators, that's him."
Well, can't say there are gators here, at least not that I know of. Bears, yes, and buffalo, as well as prairie dogs. I haven't wrestled any of them, and don't really think that would be a good idea. But anyway, point being I try to work out seven days a week. I'm not obsessed, or vain about my appearance, I just don't have anything else to do. And besides, it feels good to kick the crap out of yourself, then go heal up and do it all again. Besides besides, there are a lot of really scenic runs around post. A particular area called Medicine Bluff gives you a pretty spectacular view of the surrounding hills, as well as the artillery ranges. They are pretty much trees and fields, as they are impact areas, so not used for anything else. On top of this, my fiancee told me a few days ago I look like (action movie star) Vin Diesel, who is also a pretty big dude. I'm guessing it was more than just the shaved head. The funny thing is, I can honestly say I'm not that concerned about my appearance. I do try to take care of myself, and try to avoid looking like a bum, but don't go to the gym just to look good. (That's just a fringe benefit) I go because it tends to keep me out of trouble, and because of regular PT tests the Army has. I'm not a very fast runner, but can plow through ten miles in a little over an hour. Why, you ask, do I want to do this? Well, the best answer I can come up with is why climb the mountain? Because you want to see what's on top? No, simply because it's there. Why run and work out? Because I can.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Your Weekly Motivation
In case it wasn't too obvious, not much to add today. Well, I hope you like it though! I had a fun time making them, and being generally witty and humorous.
On a completely unrelated note (as most of these posts are), I ran the three-mile track today. It's by no means an easy run, as it goes over some pretty nasty hills, but I managed it pretty well. Apparently the week away hasn't really caused that much damage. On the plus side, my knee seems free of any strain. This had been a problem, as the tendons along the sides of it (medical terminology unknown to me) had been getting sore when I run. This is generally an indication that something is not quite right- everyone says silly things like "oh, just move past the pain!" To some extent this is true. However, soreness and fatigue are one thing- pain exists to tell your brain hey, listen, things are not quite as they should be down here in steerage, maybe you should look into it. The same thing happened above the waist, with my right wrist. I was getting a little sore there after workouts, this prompted me to put some ice on it. I think it's something to do with the actual mechanism of doing curls, as I use individual barbells rather than doing both arms at the same time. Things seem to have improved, and there are few if any more complaints to report.
In other news, well, I'm still here. Alive and kicking, though not much to report on that front. Every day I wake up, discover respiration continues as normal, heart continues to function, brain appears fully mission capable. Yet at the same time, I can't help but feel I'm kind of hanging fire, waiting for something to happen. I know, Buddhists are supposed to be all about the "now", this moment, but I can't help but feel something is missing. And I have a pretty good idea what, or rather who, that something is. The love of my life, Tabatha. Of course, there's my family to consider, too. Well, Tabatha is family, though I meant my kids. The crappy thing about a divorce is that life goes on afterwards. Seems that the sun will rise again tomorrow, whether you want it to or not. Nonetheless, what can we do but press forwards? Keep living in the shadow of the past? Well, I've tried that too, and trust me, you're better off just getting the hell on with your life.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Blue And Green Mardi Gras Ball
... as one of my heroes, Henry Rollins described it. What could be, with better food distribution, world peace and less sales representatives! Makes perfect sense to me. At any rate, a pretty unrelated topic. I decided to do a reading, after all, it's Saturday, and I had a few hours to kill before the sidewalks are unrolled around here. I wound up driving a fair piece to the east, and discovered that there's really not much to report there. I gassed up the car, drank some coffee, (I don't know the name of the redhaired, rail-thin woman who wears boots all the time, but I do know that she makes the best coffee to be found anywhere on post) and was ready to roll. So off I went, rolling down the road that is I-44. There was a sign on the side of the road, indicating that this was the LAST FREE EXIT, so I said okay, that sounds good. So it was I found myself on State Route 36, driving towards pretty much nowhere. There were farms, and a few small enclaves of civilization, a few houses, and an occasional gas station. I kept driving, thinking that maybe something will turn up. So on I drove, continuing to see not a lot. I drove on until the road ended. Yes, the road literally ended. There was pavement, then up ahead, no pavement. Hmm. Okay, having seen a great many signs along the roadside posted at similar dirt roads leading onto presumably farm land indicating that it was the desire of the owners that you keep your ass the hell out of mah property, I elected to turn back.
So back I went, and hit the gym. I left the phone in the locker, figuring that I'd really not need it, as I'm probably going to end up rupturing something after a week of not working out, and will be in no position to answer texts. Tabatha was concerned, as she couldn't locate me, and didn't get a response to text messages she sent. Oops. There's this groovy little GPS locator thing on the phone that allows anyone who knows my phone number to locate me pretty much anywhere on our blue and green Mardi Gras ball. The problem is that any room with a toilet in it, locker room, latrine, hell, even the porta-johns out in the fields, seem to have this incredible ability to kill cell phone signals. Bars disappear mysteriously. So no signal, you can't find me, despite the fact that I was sweating away at the gym. So after setting her mind at ease, I came here and started writing things that hopefully will inspire great works throughout the world.
Now that I've gone off on a massive tangent, wasn't this supposed to be about a Tarot reading? Well, here it is. I used a seven-card Horseshoe spread, and came up with the following- I think it's worth mentioning here mainly because of the huge number of Major Arcana cards.
The first card represents the past, which was the Judgement card. Things coming to light, things moving to an end- a denouement, as it were. The mystery is solved, the hidden things revealed, and we learn what's what.
Next, the present. Here is The Sun, indicating that as these hidden things are revealed, there is a great deal of support, and positive energy there- it seems whatever course I turn my efforts to, it'll be a good one, and a successful one. That carries with it the message of don't screw it up- we're trusting you on your own here, so don't fall on your face.
Next, the Future. Here is the Strength card. Interesting. Here is an indication of a gentle, quiet and subtle force at work. It's like being on, or in a swift-moving river. You can fight against the current, and eventually get where you're going, and in the process expend a great deal of energy. Or you can simply go with the current, and use that current to be a greater force. Where are we going? Well, it seems that there's a higher purpose, and with the energy at my disposal, probably a pretty good idea to find out what that is.
Now the next position is the Best Course of Action, which is the Chariot. That is, again, harness the energy of the river. As long as you can keep your life and actions in line with this higher purpose, things will work out fine. The Chariot also carries with it a meaning of a sense of willpower. That is, no great thing has been accomplished without hard work and determination. Though there may be a temptation to take the easy path, it's worth it in the long run to hang tough and do things right.
The next card is the Influences card- those things that come to bear on the situation. Interestingly, here is the Devil in a reversed position- the negative habits that had previously been an issue now are fading fast, moving out of influence, and with this, a new hope for the future is with this new-found energy.
The next position tells of Obstacles- things that could be standing in the way of realizing your ends. Here is the Tower- I see this as related to the Devil, as the Tower tells of destruction- kind of a pride going before the fall type of thing. In other words, it reinforces the idea of don't do anything stupid. Of course, this is good advice pretty much any day of the week, but especially now that all the potential is open before me; choose wisely, grasshopper.
The last position represents the Outcome- what will happen if things stay on the same course. Here is the 8 of Wands, actually the only Minor card in the reading. But it's a good one, telling of a kind of continuation of the present- a focused, hard-edged will and determination, things moving together towards a common goal. It would seem the road ahead is clear, and that the wheel is in my hands. Driving carefully, along the road instead of off of it, would be a wise decision at this point. Follow it, see where it leads, and go there, fearlessly and with one mind. No more delays, no more shots in the dark. The way ahead is clear, might as well go check it out!
So back I went, and hit the gym. I left the phone in the locker, figuring that I'd really not need it, as I'm probably going to end up rupturing something after a week of not working out, and will be in no position to answer texts. Tabatha was concerned, as she couldn't locate me, and didn't get a response to text messages she sent. Oops. There's this groovy little GPS locator thing on the phone that allows anyone who knows my phone number to locate me pretty much anywhere on our blue and green Mardi Gras ball. The problem is that any room with a toilet in it, locker room, latrine, hell, even the porta-johns out in the fields, seem to have this incredible ability to kill cell phone signals. Bars disappear mysteriously. So no signal, you can't find me, despite the fact that I was sweating away at the gym. So after setting her mind at ease, I came here and started writing things that hopefully will inspire great works throughout the world.
Now that I've gone off on a massive tangent, wasn't this supposed to be about a Tarot reading? Well, here it is. I used a seven-card Horseshoe spread, and came up with the following- I think it's worth mentioning here mainly because of the huge number of Major Arcana cards.
The first card represents the past, which was the Judgement card. Things coming to light, things moving to an end- a denouement, as it were. The mystery is solved, the hidden things revealed, and we learn what's what.
Next, the present. Here is The Sun, indicating that as these hidden things are revealed, there is a great deal of support, and positive energy there- it seems whatever course I turn my efforts to, it'll be a good one, and a successful one. That carries with it the message of don't screw it up- we're trusting you on your own here, so don't fall on your face.
Next, the Future. Here is the Strength card. Interesting. Here is an indication of a gentle, quiet and subtle force at work. It's like being on, or in a swift-moving river. You can fight against the current, and eventually get where you're going, and in the process expend a great deal of energy. Or you can simply go with the current, and use that current to be a greater force. Where are we going? Well, it seems that there's a higher purpose, and with the energy at my disposal, probably a pretty good idea to find out what that is.
Now the next position is the Best Course of Action, which is the Chariot. That is, again, harness the energy of the river. As long as you can keep your life and actions in line with this higher purpose, things will work out fine. The Chariot also carries with it a meaning of a sense of willpower. That is, no great thing has been accomplished without hard work and determination. Though there may be a temptation to take the easy path, it's worth it in the long run to hang tough and do things right.
The next card is the Influences card- those things that come to bear on the situation. Interestingly, here is the Devil in a reversed position- the negative habits that had previously been an issue now are fading fast, moving out of influence, and with this, a new hope for the future is with this new-found energy.
The next position tells of Obstacles- things that could be standing in the way of realizing your ends. Here is the Tower- I see this as related to the Devil, as the Tower tells of destruction- kind of a pride going before the fall type of thing. In other words, it reinforces the idea of don't do anything stupid. Of course, this is good advice pretty much any day of the week, but especially now that all the potential is open before me; choose wisely, grasshopper.
The last position represents the Outcome- what will happen if things stay on the same course. Here is the 8 of Wands, actually the only Minor card in the reading. But it's a good one, telling of a kind of continuation of the present- a focused, hard-edged will and determination, things moving together towards a common goal. It would seem the road ahead is clear, and that the wheel is in my hands. Driving carefully, along the road instead of off of it, would be a wise decision at this point. Follow it, see where it leads, and go there, fearlessly and with one mind. No more delays, no more shots in the dark. The way ahead is clear, might as well go check it out!
Vanilla Windex
The wolf came in, I got my cards,
We sat down for a game
I cut my deck to the Queen of Spades,
But the cards were all the same
- Robert Hunter, "Dire Wolf"
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
I had taken a week off from my normal workout schedule, which proved both relaxing and irritating. There's really not a hell of a lot going on in Lawton and/or Fort Sill- good thing there's plenty of books, and a gym! Getting back into the swing of working out, I stopped off today for a protein shake. Called Muscle Milk, it actually contains no milk. So says the label, anyway. I'd recommend these for people who really aren't that concerned about how it tastes, but need to heal up quickly after a workout, as it works wonders in that area. Today was vanilla (it comes in several flavors, most all based around milkshakes- strawberry, malted, chocolate). It tastes rather like vanilla ice cream blended with Windex, however.
Speaking of books, I just started an interesting one called Merchants of Doubt, dealing with scientific cover-ups (lacking a better term). There have been studies, as you probably know, that set out to refute things like the dangers of tobacco products (mostly cigarettes, I think), global warming and the like. Though some people who smoke do not in fact develop cancer, emphysema or other health problems, some people do. I once heard of a man who lived here in Lawton, who lived to be 100. This man was a poster child for alcoholism- every night found him at the bar, pounding it down with friends and neighbors. And even at his advanced age, could drink most of them under the table. But he still lived to be 100. The question is, would he have lived longer if he wasn't drinking so much? Who can say? Sounds like he had a long happy life. I'm not going to proselytize on the dangers of smoking, or any such thing- if you're old enough to read this, and old enough to purchase tobacco, you're a big boy/girl and can make your own decisions. I actually find those "truth" commercials a little self-righteous and annoying. They tell of how terrible tobacco is, how it kills millions of people, and how evil the tobacco companies are. Well, evil aside, these things are true, and are pretty much common knowledge. However, it belabors the question- what about the lack of clean water? This kills a hell of a lot more people worldwide than smoking ever could. What about people starving to death? Again, this number blows tobacco out of the water.
Now, I'm all for increasing public awareness of the dangers we face- the key to responsible decisions is information, and this information may not be readily available. So keep people abreast of new scientific findings- like say, sushi can cause your brain to swell, driving you insane, as a for example. This would be useful to know, so we can change our behaviors. Once that knowledge becomes public, however, and a person still decides to eat sushi (it is pretty darn good), it's on their own heads. They know the risk, and say what the hey, I'm a gambler. I'll take the risk. Same thing with tobacco- everyone and their dog knows it's not good for you. Neither is a Texas Double Whopper and an order of onion rings, but that never stops me!
Now I go into the realm of opinion, and if you don't agree or like it, well, you're entitled to your opinion too! It's easy to hate tobacco companies, with their archetypal suited executives, and general selling of tobacco-type activities. Does this smack a little bit of self-congratulatory righteousness? "I did something good today, I was involved in a tobacco protest", kind of thinking. But did you do anything about the things that kill a lot more people than tobacco? Did you change your lifestyle in any way to make things just a little bit easier for your fellow man? Did you make a sacrifice for the common good? Hey, don't get me wrong. I completely accept my karmic inheritances in all this. But again, just my opinions.
So at any rate, there's a lot wrong in this world, but at the same time, do what you can. Not everyone can do great things, but everyone can do small things with greatness.
We sat down for a game
I cut my deck to the Queen of Spades,
But the cards were all the same
- Robert Hunter, "Dire Wolf"
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
-George Santayana
I had taken a week off from my normal workout schedule, which proved both relaxing and irritating. There's really not a hell of a lot going on in Lawton and/or Fort Sill- good thing there's plenty of books, and a gym! Getting back into the swing of working out, I stopped off today for a protein shake. Called Muscle Milk, it actually contains no milk. So says the label, anyway. I'd recommend these for people who really aren't that concerned about how it tastes, but need to heal up quickly after a workout, as it works wonders in that area. Today was vanilla (it comes in several flavors, most all based around milkshakes- strawberry, malted, chocolate). It tastes rather like vanilla ice cream blended with Windex, however.
Speaking of books, I just started an interesting one called Merchants of Doubt, dealing with scientific cover-ups (lacking a better term). There have been studies, as you probably know, that set out to refute things like the dangers of tobacco products (mostly cigarettes, I think), global warming and the like. Though some people who smoke do not in fact develop cancer, emphysema or other health problems, some people do. I once heard of a man who lived here in Lawton, who lived to be 100. This man was a poster child for alcoholism- every night found him at the bar, pounding it down with friends and neighbors. And even at his advanced age, could drink most of them under the table. But he still lived to be 100. The question is, would he have lived longer if he wasn't drinking so much? Who can say? Sounds like he had a long happy life. I'm not going to proselytize on the dangers of smoking, or any such thing- if you're old enough to read this, and old enough to purchase tobacco, you're a big boy/girl and can make your own decisions. I actually find those "truth" commercials a little self-righteous and annoying. They tell of how terrible tobacco is, how it kills millions of people, and how evil the tobacco companies are. Well, evil aside, these things are true, and are pretty much common knowledge. However, it belabors the question- what about the lack of clean water? This kills a hell of a lot more people worldwide than smoking ever could. What about people starving to death? Again, this number blows tobacco out of the water.
Now, I'm all for increasing public awareness of the dangers we face- the key to responsible decisions is information, and this information may not be readily available. So keep people abreast of new scientific findings- like say, sushi can cause your brain to swell, driving you insane, as a for example. This would be useful to know, so we can change our behaviors. Once that knowledge becomes public, however, and a person still decides to eat sushi (it is pretty darn good), it's on their own heads. They know the risk, and say what the hey, I'm a gambler. I'll take the risk. Same thing with tobacco- everyone and their dog knows it's not good for you. Neither is a Texas Double Whopper and an order of onion rings, but that never stops me!
Now I go into the realm of opinion, and if you don't agree or like it, well, you're entitled to your opinion too! It's easy to hate tobacco companies, with their archetypal suited executives, and general selling of tobacco-type activities. Does this smack a little bit of self-congratulatory righteousness? "I did something good today, I was involved in a tobacco protest", kind of thinking. But did you do anything about the things that kill a lot more people than tobacco? Did you change your lifestyle in any way to make things just a little bit easier for your fellow man? Did you make a sacrifice for the common good? Hey, don't get me wrong. I completely accept my karmic inheritances in all this. But again, just my opinions.
So at any rate, there's a lot wrong in this world, but at the same time, do what you can. Not everyone can do great things, but everyone can do small things with greatness.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Questions In A World of Blue
When did my day, with all its light
Turn into night?
When all the world seemed to sing,
Why, why did you go?
Was it me,
Was it you?
-David Lynch, Questions in a World of Blue
I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
That old wind
Is howlin' like a cold steel train...
by the big mistake In the distance, man
I see myself start to smile
I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
- Also David Lynch, A Real Indication
Here it is, a pretty nice Friday afternoon in Twin Peaks, I mean Lawton. Today was what's called an organizational day- a day to relax, hang out with your coworkers, and generally just enjoy each others' company. A barbecue, I guess you'd say. Why the fancy name? I don't know. But I spent some of the morning and afternoon setting it up and tearing it down, which is OK. I don't mind.
Apart from that, the debate continues- move out of the barracks, or not? Will I be okay? Can I survive in the outside world? Coming into the barracks was a retreat; a chance to heal from the past, mostly the wounds inflicted by my own hands and mind. Is that time all done now? Regardless, is it time to move on? At some point you have to leave the asylum and go back into the world. Only wise men with long beards sit atop mountains. Besides, ultimately, after Tabatha and I are back together, we'll be in the same scenario we were in before. And what then?
The real root of the problem is that I want to get the hell out of the barracks- I don't have a functioning door key, and since I'm not officially assigned to that room, I can't get the problem fixed. Numerous times I've had to either request someone with a master key to come open the door, or improvise a solution. Now, it's no longer possible to get in that way- the master key is no longer kept in the barracks building. A good solution, on the surface- if you're fool enough to lock your key out, you have to go halfway across post to correct the situation. However, the old adage about how the soldiers themselves are the only thing not produced by the lowest bidder very much holds true. The keys, the magnetic cards similar to the ones you see in hotels, frequently stop working. Then it's a trip up to the housing office to get the key replaced. Assuming, of course, they have record of you staying in that room. Which in my case, they don't. On top of this, my room is developing a mold problem due to the broken air conditioning- not its absence, but rather its continual and unwavering presence. It's actually too cold in the room, leading, of course, in this climate, to moisture. Hence mold I seem powerless to remove. All in all, it's kind of a pain in the ass. I don't mind living with other people, in fact have come to prefer it to living alone. So my thoughts were, since I'm still receiving a stipend for rent, why not take a small part of that and put it towards renting a room in town? In most regards similar to the barracks, except that I won't have to pick the lock or go in through the window to get there. Of course, either this or the barracks are a strictly temporary solution, as my days of single life are very much numbered- I intend to see to that personally, no matter what the cost. Yet caution is called for, don't rush in, as the consequences of rushing in are all too well known to me.
So on the fence I remain, at least for the time being. Will things change down the road? They well might. But for now, I'm still considering the options.
Turn into night?
When all the world seemed to sing,
Why, why did you go?
Was it me,
Was it you?
-David Lynch, Questions in a World of Blue
I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
That old wind
Is howlin' like a cold steel train...
by the big mistake In the distance, man
I see myself start to smile
I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
- Also David Lynch, A Real Indication
Here it is, a pretty nice Friday afternoon in Twin Peaks, I mean Lawton. Today was what's called an organizational day- a day to relax, hang out with your coworkers, and generally just enjoy each others' company. A barbecue, I guess you'd say. Why the fancy name? I don't know. But I spent some of the morning and afternoon setting it up and tearing it down, which is OK. I don't mind.
Apart from that, the debate continues- move out of the barracks, or not? Will I be okay? Can I survive in the outside world? Coming into the barracks was a retreat; a chance to heal from the past, mostly the wounds inflicted by my own hands and mind. Is that time all done now? Regardless, is it time to move on? At some point you have to leave the asylum and go back into the world. Only wise men with long beards sit atop mountains. Besides, ultimately, after Tabatha and I are back together, we'll be in the same scenario we were in before. And what then?
The real root of the problem is that I want to get the hell out of the barracks- I don't have a functioning door key, and since I'm not officially assigned to that room, I can't get the problem fixed. Numerous times I've had to either request someone with a master key to come open the door, or improvise a solution. Now, it's no longer possible to get in that way- the master key is no longer kept in the barracks building. A good solution, on the surface- if you're fool enough to lock your key out, you have to go halfway across post to correct the situation. However, the old adage about how the soldiers themselves are the only thing not produced by the lowest bidder very much holds true. The keys, the magnetic cards similar to the ones you see in hotels, frequently stop working. Then it's a trip up to the housing office to get the key replaced. Assuming, of course, they have record of you staying in that room. Which in my case, they don't. On top of this, my room is developing a mold problem due to the broken air conditioning- not its absence, but rather its continual and unwavering presence. It's actually too cold in the room, leading, of course, in this climate, to moisture. Hence mold I seem powerless to remove. All in all, it's kind of a pain in the ass. I don't mind living with other people, in fact have come to prefer it to living alone. So my thoughts were, since I'm still receiving a stipend for rent, why not take a small part of that and put it towards renting a room in town? In most regards similar to the barracks, except that I won't have to pick the lock or go in through the window to get there. Of course, either this or the barracks are a strictly temporary solution, as my days of single life are very much numbered- I intend to see to that personally, no matter what the cost. Yet caution is called for, don't rush in, as the consequences of rushing in are all too well known to me.
So on the fence I remain, at least for the time being. Will things change down the road? They well might. But for now, I'm still considering the options.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Behind The Veil, Once Again
Another day, another reading. The illustration is meant to convey hidden meaning- it shows a man looking beyond the "veil", seeing the underlying order of the universe, beyond what his senses show him, so to speak. At any rate, this morning I had a chance to do another reading, so I used a spread a little more complicated than a daily one, a modified Celtic Cross. Here are the results, for all who care to observe them:
The first card represents the Present, and here was the 5 of Cups reversed. The Five tells of loss, though not a complete one. Things may go wrong, this card says, but sometimes good things can come from a seemingly negative situation. The reversed position tells of an inability to see this- examine your heart, it says. What are you missing to grow flowers out of this manure pile? The card covering this, the second card, was the 4 of Swords. It tells of a break, or a respite. Perhaps it could be that the old way of thinking of things is not working- time to take a step back, inventory life and see what's missing.
The next card is the Foundation- what led up to the current situation? Here was the 7 of Pentacles, a card of things developing towards prosperity. Remember, prosperity is not necessarily wealth. Though things may be in a seemingly bad spot now, it's important to look to the truth, see through illusion and focus on the true nature of things.
The Past position tells us of what has happened already, but continues to influence the situation. Here was the Ace of Wands, telling of new potentials, perhaps unrealized. Things were moving forwards, and may have hit a snag. It could be something as simple as an off day- well, if that's the case, the best course of action would be suggested by the 4 of Swords- take a breather, regroup, and go back at it.
In the next position, the Aspirations, or hopes- things you hope to realize, and hope to see. It could also be the best outcome you can hope for in a situation, and that seems to be the case here. The card in this position was the 5 of Pentacles, telling of assistance in hard times. Many decks show two people passing by a lighted window, not seeing that the light in the window means that there is help there. However, this card, from the Gilded Tarot, was a little different. It shows a window, with a familiar pattern of five pentacles. However, from the bottom-most pentacle shines a beam of light, like a lighthouse, or a beacon. It says, follow this to the help you need- it's out there, and also up to you to go get it. What do I need help with in life? And what is the loss? I tend to think it's related to just having kind of a tough week. This being the case, the message seems to be don't lose sight of your goal. Victory's within the mile, don't give up now, as Rihanna once sang. At any rate, on to the next position, the Near Future. Here was the King of Cups, which is kind of an odd card to see. The suits have elemental correspondences, which in turn correspond to people. Being a Libra, I'm associated with air, and almost always the suit of Swords. Tabatha, likewise, is an Aries, and associated with fire, again almost always the suit of Wands, though she has strong affiliations to the Swords as well. However, Cups is water- neither of us. But beyond this, there's the fact that Cups represent the emotions, and the heart. A man in mastery of his own heart? That would make the most sense in this case.
The seventh position tells of the near future- here I saw the Page of Cups and the Empress. The Page represents an unformed person, in a manner of speaking- someone not yet mature in all ways, perhaps, or a person with something to learn. The Empress represents much less a specific person as she does a nurturing force- in many instances, the Empress is visibly pregnant, and often depicted as associated with the earth- that is, a force for growth and change, in this case supporting the Page as he develops and matures.
The eighth position represents thoughts and feelings on the situation- here were the Hermit and the Sun- both have the connotation of light, or illumination. Clearly, the Page needs to do a little self-examination, look inside himself and let the sunlight in to illuminate things he may not know were there. The Sun also relates to the Empress- we have the earth, and now the sun to warm the seed and enable it to grow. So it would seem great things are on the horizon- the seed will soon blossom into a plant. Will it be poison ivy, or flowers?
The ninth position represents other influences on the situation, ones that we ourselves may not be aware of. Here is the 3 of Cups and the Wheel of Fortune. It looks like good things are going to happen, and the Three tells of completeness, the wheel turning around to complete what was begun, I always liked to think of it as. The Three tells of being back with Tabatha, and being a family again. What Fortune dictates, it seems, we cannot stop.
The tenth position tells of an outcome- here was the 10 of Cups and 9 of Wands- both telling of finality, and completion. The 10 tells of family, people joined together and under one roof- a happy home, in other words. Accompanied by the 9 of Wands, it tells of a hard-won fight, but that the end of the battle has come- things are ok, the hero has conquered the bad guys, with the scars to prove it. All in all, a hopeful reading for the future. The main message I took away from this was, first, don't give up the fight. This battle can be won, and don't be afraid to seek an outside perspective, especially when things seem most hopeless. The goals I seek may be on the far horizon, but sooner or later that horizon meets you, if you keep moving forwards.
Broadcasting Live from the Staff Duty Desk
It's been a pretty crazy week- first I had Monday off, which I spent most of asleep. I had previously pulled a 24-hour shift on the battalion staff duty desk, which we get once in a while. It's really not that exciting, you have to monitor the phone, control access to the building and generally run things in the absence of command for the night and day. All in all, pretty uneventful. Then Tuesday I went out to the range in the stifling heat. It was an M249 range, which is called a SAW for short- Squad Automatic Weapon. It's basically an M16 rifle on steroids, as it uses the same size cartridge as the M16, though it's either a drum- or belt-fed weapon, and is fully automatic, whereas the rifle is semiautomatic. What's the difference? A semiauto will reload the next round after you discharge a shot, but will not fire multiple times. A fully automatic weapon will fire repeatedly as long as you squeeze the trigger. Though it's best used in 3-to 5-round bursts, don't just hang on and go for it. At any rate, the problem with this turned out to be that the firing range is covered in grass. Not that this is unusual, most ranges are. But the fact that it was hot and dry, along with the fact that every 5th round on the belt of ammunition is a tracer round, and burns phosphorus as it travels, and you have a good recipe for fires, as we found out. Luckily there's nothing that actually grows on the range, or burns very well, so it was just a matter of someone running out there to stomp out the fire. It was pretty funny though, I have to admit.
It was very hot, too, as we discovered. There were a couple of people who fell to heatstroke, though fortunately nothing serious. Add 30 pounds of gear on you in addition to a uniform, and I can certainly see how that would happen! Almost got me, too, but luckily I managed to avoid it this time around.
Well, apart from that, I'm still looking forward to the day when I walk down the aisle with the girl of my dreams (quite literally, on occasion). I know it's been a difficult two years, but we've weathered a great many storms. Now it's up to me to stop churning the oceans! I know I hadn't been the easiest guy to live with, but now that I think of it, I try every day to be a better person. That may sound like pop psychology, but I know no one is perfect. You do the best you can, and hope it all works out in the longer run. Although a good deal of things working out depends on your own actions- luck favors the prepared, as well as the hard worker, it seems.
What will the future hold? Though I guess there are no real guarantees, I'd like to see us back here in Oklahoma, or wherever we may wind up, together. Again, lacking a better term, it feels right. We belong together, it seems. I had a suspicion that things were meant to be this way. Could it be some higher purpose behind us? Some force inexorably drawing us together, despite my repeated screwups? Well, I've become a better person for the time I've spent with Tabatha, and can honestly say I've never felt this way about anyone before. I can remember the first time we met- she gave me a hug (had to reach up to do it, too- one of the disadvantages to being tall). I remember she had lots of blonde hair, and a somewhat old Ford Explorer. This Explorer was later to meet a timely death of old age, and was retired to the scrapyards, or wherever it wound up.
I also remember the day I left for basic training. My recruiter had been a little delayed, as a woman was in the office talking to him. This was a story for the ages, and it had the both of us laughing all the way up to Westover Air Force base, where I was to leave from to catch a plane to Georgia. Seems this woman had met someone online who was way out in the sticks in Iraq, and the two of them, though having never met face to face, had become engaged. However, though certainly not beyond the scope of probability, it was at this point that things get weird. Weirder, at any rate. This particular soldier was ready to return home to the States, and marry our erstwhile heroine. However, the problem was that he needed someone to replace him at his post in Iraq. So the problem was, though the soldier had found someone to take his place, transportation proved to be a problem. So if the woman could send down air fare, the soldier would be able to fly back to the States and marry her. Incidentally, this never happens. You can be sent back from overseas for medical reasons, possibly a death in the family, or for injury, which is pretty much the same as medical reasons.
Predictably, the money the woman sent vanished into thin air, along with her fiance. The recruiter was now faced with a woman who was having bad psychic vibes about this mysterious person, whom she now feared was coming after her with things other than marriage on his mind. However, the phantom soldier did manage to get the name of a commanding general right in his emails, so this being the case, the Army is required to investigate. The moral of the story being, send care packages, not money, guys.
Now that I've gone hugely off topic, I recall Tabatha there in the Explorer, saying goodbye. I never wanted to leave less than I did that day. I realized then how much I really did love her, and how hard it was going to be without her. But I went off to training, and made it through with sanity and mortal frame intact. I have a huge binder full of all the letters she wrote me during that time, and will keep them always. I found a daily source of inspiration in them, and still do, and keep writing to her, until the day we're under the same roof once more- the house of Chipman will rise again!
It was very hot, too, as we discovered. There were a couple of people who fell to heatstroke, though fortunately nothing serious. Add 30 pounds of gear on you in addition to a uniform, and I can certainly see how that would happen! Almost got me, too, but luckily I managed to avoid it this time around.
Well, apart from that, I'm still looking forward to the day when I walk down the aisle with the girl of my dreams (quite literally, on occasion). I know it's been a difficult two years, but we've weathered a great many storms. Now it's up to me to stop churning the oceans! I know I hadn't been the easiest guy to live with, but now that I think of it, I try every day to be a better person. That may sound like pop psychology, but I know no one is perfect. You do the best you can, and hope it all works out in the longer run. Although a good deal of things working out depends on your own actions- luck favors the prepared, as well as the hard worker, it seems.
What will the future hold? Though I guess there are no real guarantees, I'd like to see us back here in Oklahoma, or wherever we may wind up, together. Again, lacking a better term, it feels right. We belong together, it seems. I had a suspicion that things were meant to be this way. Could it be some higher purpose behind us? Some force inexorably drawing us together, despite my repeated screwups? Well, I've become a better person for the time I've spent with Tabatha, and can honestly say I've never felt this way about anyone before. I can remember the first time we met- she gave me a hug (had to reach up to do it, too- one of the disadvantages to being tall). I remember she had lots of blonde hair, and a somewhat old Ford Explorer. This Explorer was later to meet a timely death of old age, and was retired to the scrapyards, or wherever it wound up.
I also remember the day I left for basic training. My recruiter had been a little delayed, as a woman was in the office talking to him. This was a story for the ages, and it had the both of us laughing all the way up to Westover Air Force base, where I was to leave from to catch a plane to Georgia. Seems this woman had met someone online who was way out in the sticks in Iraq, and the two of them, though having never met face to face, had become engaged. However, though certainly not beyond the scope of probability, it was at this point that things get weird. Weirder, at any rate. This particular soldier was ready to return home to the States, and marry our erstwhile heroine. However, the problem was that he needed someone to replace him at his post in Iraq. So the problem was, though the soldier had found someone to take his place, transportation proved to be a problem. So if the woman could send down air fare, the soldier would be able to fly back to the States and marry her. Incidentally, this never happens. You can be sent back from overseas for medical reasons, possibly a death in the family, or for injury, which is pretty much the same as medical reasons.
Predictably, the money the woman sent vanished into thin air, along with her fiance. The recruiter was now faced with a woman who was having bad psychic vibes about this mysterious person, whom she now feared was coming after her with things other than marriage on his mind. However, the phantom soldier did manage to get the name of a commanding general right in his emails, so this being the case, the Army is required to investigate. The moral of the story being, send care packages, not money, guys.
Now that I've gone hugely off topic, I recall Tabatha there in the Explorer, saying goodbye. I never wanted to leave less than I did that day. I realized then how much I really did love her, and how hard it was going to be without her. But I went off to training, and made it through with sanity and mortal frame intact. I have a huge binder full of all the letters she wrote me during that time, and will keep them always. I found a daily source of inspiration in them, and still do, and keep writing to her, until the day we're under the same roof once more- the house of Chipman will rise again!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Go Find the Real Dragon!
It's been a good Monday to think on random things, so today I figured I'd include a random Zen riddle. Called koans, they are used to demonstrate an understanding of Buddhist principles. This is, in my opinion, one of the easier ones to 'solve'-
NANSEN CUTS THE CAT IN TWO
Nansen saw the monks of the eastern and western halls fighting over a cat. He seized the cat and told the monks, "If any of you can say a turning word, you can save the cat."
No one answered. So Nansen cut the cat in two pieces.
That evening Joshu returned, and Nansen told him about this. Joshu removed a sandal, and placing it on his head, walked out.
Nansen said, "If you had been there, you would have saved the cat."
Mumon's Comment- Why did Joshu put his sandals on his head? If anyone understands this question, he will understand exactly how Nansen enforced the edict. If not, he should watch his own head.
Had Joshu been there
He would have enforced the edict oppositely
Joshu snatches the sword
And Nansen begs for his life
So now that you're thoroughly confused, let me add to that by telling you the answer I came up with-
Nansen could cut the cat in two pieces
Now show me the sword sharp enough to cut the cat in one piece
Whoever has this sword cuts through them all
The monks, Nansen, the sandals, with a single stroke
The eastern and western halls refer to a common division among the living quarters of monks, and apparently often were not unlike rival high schools in some respects. A turning word refers to a word, phrase or action with which one would demonstrate an understanding of Zen- they were always spontaneous, and an expression of understanding of the question being asked. Turning words are some of the hardest things to identify in Zen. But on to the koan- here we have a bunch of monks arguing over the cat. The cat is not important- it could be anything- a desk, a bowl of fruit, even the hall itself. The point is we have here two divided factions, each calling it something different. The thing to keep in mind here is that the monks disagree on the reality of this point of contention- who is right? What is it really? So in walks Nansen, and holds the cat up in the air- why? Simply to draw attention to the fact that the cat is- by this logic, if the two parties disagree, they're both wrong, and neither identifies the cat as a cat, or the true nature of the cat. This is a tough concept to grasp, and requires a good deal of thought and reflection- I can tell you from experience, it'll come to you in time.
At any rate, here we have Nansen saying, in essence, tell me the true nature of this cat- what is it really, apart from your arguing? No one can really answer, as they're too caught up in their ideas to see past that. (Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees!) So Nansen (probably symbolically) makes his point by dividing the cat in two- "See? Now the cat is in two parts, as you all seem to think it is!"
Then Joshu shows up. Joshu, or Chao-Chu in Chinese, is a common figure in these stories. He manages to demonstrate the futility of saying "it's this", or "it's that"- rather, Buddhism tells us to reflect like a mirror- the mirror doesn't choose what is good or bad and reflect only that, it only reflects the light that strikes it, showing whatever we put in front of it. Hopefully this clarifies things- where is the sword sharp enough to cut the cat in one piece? You are. Look through your thoughts, evaluations and desires, and see not only the cat, but the world around you for what it truly is. And what is that? The world. Nothing more, nothing less. Even saying nothing more isn't quite right, it's more along the lines of the world is.
Hopefully this clarifies things, perhaps not. Well, think about it, it'll come to you.
NANSEN CUTS THE CAT IN TWO
Nansen saw the monks of the eastern and western halls fighting over a cat. He seized the cat and told the monks, "If any of you can say a turning word, you can save the cat."
No one answered. So Nansen cut the cat in two pieces.
That evening Joshu returned, and Nansen told him about this. Joshu removed a sandal, and placing it on his head, walked out.
Nansen said, "If you had been there, you would have saved the cat."
Mumon's Comment- Why did Joshu put his sandals on his head? If anyone understands this question, he will understand exactly how Nansen enforced the edict. If not, he should watch his own head.
Had Joshu been there
He would have enforced the edict oppositely
Joshu snatches the sword
And Nansen begs for his life
So now that you're thoroughly confused, let me add to that by telling you the answer I came up with-
Nansen could cut the cat in two pieces
Now show me the sword sharp enough to cut the cat in one piece
Whoever has this sword cuts through them all
The monks, Nansen, the sandals, with a single stroke
The eastern and western halls refer to a common division among the living quarters of monks, and apparently often were not unlike rival high schools in some respects. A turning word refers to a word, phrase or action with which one would demonstrate an understanding of Zen- they were always spontaneous, and an expression of understanding of the question being asked. Turning words are some of the hardest things to identify in Zen. But on to the koan- here we have a bunch of monks arguing over the cat. The cat is not important- it could be anything- a desk, a bowl of fruit, even the hall itself. The point is we have here two divided factions, each calling it something different. The thing to keep in mind here is that the monks disagree on the reality of this point of contention- who is right? What is it really? So in walks Nansen, and holds the cat up in the air- why? Simply to draw attention to the fact that the cat is- by this logic, if the two parties disagree, they're both wrong, and neither identifies the cat as a cat, or the true nature of the cat. This is a tough concept to grasp, and requires a good deal of thought and reflection- I can tell you from experience, it'll come to you in time.
At any rate, here we have Nansen saying, in essence, tell me the true nature of this cat- what is it really, apart from your arguing? No one can really answer, as they're too caught up in their ideas to see past that. (Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees!) So Nansen (probably symbolically) makes his point by dividing the cat in two- "See? Now the cat is in two parts, as you all seem to think it is!"
Then Joshu shows up. Joshu, or Chao-Chu in Chinese, is a common figure in these stories. He manages to demonstrate the futility of saying "it's this", or "it's that"- rather, Buddhism tells us to reflect like a mirror- the mirror doesn't choose what is good or bad and reflect only that, it only reflects the light that strikes it, showing whatever we put in front of it. Hopefully this clarifies things- where is the sword sharp enough to cut the cat in one piece? You are. Look through your thoughts, evaluations and desires, and see not only the cat, but the world around you for what it truly is. And what is that? The world. Nothing more, nothing less. Even saying nothing more isn't quite right, it's more along the lines of the world is.
Hopefully this clarifies things, perhaps not. Well, think about it, it'll come to you.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Night Train to Nowhere
It's another day at the gas station- same people, same coffee, same pretty much everything. There's one thing I noticed that raised an eyebrow. The corner store sells Thunderbird! Who in their right mind drinks Thunderbird? Did the MPs get bored and decide to stock it, so they'll have someone to arrest? Actually, I've heard legends of this stuff- never had the nerve to try it, hardened alcoholic (recovering) that I am. For a more in-depth review of this hellish cocktail, be sure to check out www.bumwine.com . With maybe two exceptions, I've tried most of these vile chemicals. Cisco is indeed liquid crack- its effect is not entirely that of alcohol, more like smacking yourself in the face with a brick while chewing on a mouthful of uncut meth. Exactly what its chemical composition is is unknown, although the "Cisco psychosis" prompted the FDA to order an additional warning on its label.
Night Train is better described as the Night Train to the Porcelain Throne, which is where you'll end up drinking this stuff. If you ever wanted to taste gasoline and Kool-Aid, here's a cheaper alternative. Add about a pound of sugar to taste, and you've got it. Night Train apparently is so named because it tends to make you fall asleep, so be prepared for this eventuality when and if you should try some. Then go check yourself into a mental health facility, no one in their right mind drinks this swill.
The exception to this is definitely Wild Irish Rose, or Rosie as we of the Brotherhood of The Hair of The Dog call it. While obnoxiously sweet, its Red version is really not that bad when cut with tonic water or seltzer. The White version, though less well-known, seems to differ only in color, and pretty much tastes the same. It's supposed to be 'citrus wine', though the citrus content is not derived from any known source. Experience teaches it's best cold- avoid drinking it warm, though I have yet to find anywhere that sells it cold.
Less common but about on a par is MD 20/20, also called Mad Dog. It comes in a variety of day-glo colors and flavors. Again, don't think the fruit listed on the label has ever been in the same room as this beverage. While lacking the sheer vileness of Night Train, Mad Dog is much more grape-popsicle flavored than anything else, although there are other flavors out there. The bright green one scares me. However, as far as cheap alcoholic drinks go, you could definitely do worse than Mad Dog. Then again, you could do a hell of a lot better, too.
I think the main issue is the sugar content of these drinks- you see, sugar+alcohol= puke fuel and hangovers. This is why clear liquor (supposedly) does not give you as bad a hangover, though the other chemicals as well as alcohol content present are a factor as well. But again, by the time you're considering more than say, a glass of Mad Dog, you're ready for AA.
An exception, I would say, is Boone's Farm. It's available in a variety of cheaply-made flavors, and has a comparatively low alcohol content, equivalent to about a light beer. Served cold, it's really not too bad! There is a pale pink strawberry-and-something concoction that is pretty good.
Luckily, my days of hitting the sauce (along with many of the accompanying problems) are behind me now, though my throat tightens and my stomach rolls at the thought of some of the things I used to send down the hatch. I can't say I miss that!
Night Train is better described as the Night Train to the Porcelain Throne, which is where you'll end up drinking this stuff. If you ever wanted to taste gasoline and Kool-Aid, here's a cheaper alternative. Add about a pound of sugar to taste, and you've got it. Night Train apparently is so named because it tends to make you fall asleep, so be prepared for this eventuality when and if you should try some. Then go check yourself into a mental health facility, no one in their right mind drinks this swill.
The exception to this is definitely Wild Irish Rose, or Rosie as we of the Brotherhood of The Hair of The Dog call it. While obnoxiously sweet, its Red version is really not that bad when cut with tonic water or seltzer. The White version, though less well-known, seems to differ only in color, and pretty much tastes the same. It's supposed to be 'citrus wine', though the citrus content is not derived from any known source. Experience teaches it's best cold- avoid drinking it warm, though I have yet to find anywhere that sells it cold.
Less common but about on a par is MD 20/20, also called Mad Dog. It comes in a variety of day-glo colors and flavors. Again, don't think the fruit listed on the label has ever been in the same room as this beverage. While lacking the sheer vileness of Night Train, Mad Dog is much more grape-popsicle flavored than anything else, although there are other flavors out there. The bright green one scares me. However, as far as cheap alcoholic drinks go, you could definitely do worse than Mad Dog. Then again, you could do a hell of a lot better, too.
I think the main issue is the sugar content of these drinks- you see, sugar+alcohol= puke fuel and hangovers. This is why clear liquor (supposedly) does not give you as bad a hangover, though the other chemicals as well as alcohol content present are a factor as well. But again, by the time you're considering more than say, a glass of Mad Dog, you're ready for AA.
An exception, I would say, is Boone's Farm. It's available in a variety of cheaply-made flavors, and has a comparatively low alcohol content, equivalent to about a light beer. Served cold, it's really not too bad! There is a pale pink strawberry-and-something concoction that is pretty good.
Luckily, my days of hitting the sauce (along with many of the accompanying problems) are behind me now, though my throat tightens and my stomach rolls at the thought of some of the things I used to send down the hatch. I can't say I miss that!
Through The Wichita Mountains
Today was a day off- I woke up early, probably because I didn't have anywhere in particular to be. So I woke up, cleaned my room up a bit, then went into town for coffee. It was early in the morning, and I found myself at loose ends- what to do with the rest of the day? Well, at least the morning. So coffee in hand, I decided to drive. There are few points in Lawton I haven't seen, Lawton being a fairly small town, but where, I wondered, does that road out of town go? What does Altus look like?
And so off I went to see exactly what Altus does look like. Altus contains fields. Imagine that, here in the plains states! So I kept driving- I was to be glad I did! Down the road, north of Lawton, is a wildlife preserve at the foot of the Wichita Mountains. It's just past Deyo on the Quanah Parker Trailway, for those of you familiar with the geography of Lawton. The road wound through a couple dense patches of forest, and into the mountains themselves. There are several lakes there, and I hear the fishing is good, as well as a great many hiking trails. I drove down the road, taking in the impressive sight of the mountains a few hundred yards from the road. There were also free-range longhorns and buffalo in the fields. I hear longhorn cattle are pretty placid beasts, though buffalo are not, and tend to be aggressive when they see you. However, they generally will ignore cars if the cars are driving by them. So I drove by them.
The air smelled of wet earth and some wildflowers I couldn't identify as the sun came up over the mountains, and all in all it was a good place to spend a few days doing nothing. Just not around the buffalo, though. I'm hoping to pull together a hike next weekend, assuming my largely Zen method of finding the preserve in the first place can be repeated. It was also a much-needed break in routine, and a chance to see some more of the state that fate has made my residence for the time being. I'd still like to see Texas, too. A friend is from El Paso, and tells me it's quite the place to see, if you don't mind the heat. The last few weeks have seen temperatures consistently over 100, so I guess I really don't have too many options there. But it made me feel glad to be here- not just here in the South, but out on a great warm summer day.
And so off I went to see exactly what Altus does look like. Altus contains fields. Imagine that, here in the plains states! So I kept driving- I was to be glad I did! Down the road, north of Lawton, is a wildlife preserve at the foot of the Wichita Mountains. It's just past Deyo on the Quanah Parker Trailway, for those of you familiar with the geography of Lawton. The road wound through a couple dense patches of forest, and into the mountains themselves. There are several lakes there, and I hear the fishing is good, as well as a great many hiking trails. I drove down the road, taking in the impressive sight of the mountains a few hundred yards from the road. There were also free-range longhorns and buffalo in the fields. I hear longhorn cattle are pretty placid beasts, though buffalo are not, and tend to be aggressive when they see you. However, they generally will ignore cars if the cars are driving by them. So I drove by them.
The air smelled of wet earth and some wildflowers I couldn't identify as the sun came up over the mountains, and all in all it was a good place to spend a few days doing nothing. Just not around the buffalo, though. I'm hoping to pull together a hike next weekend, assuming my largely Zen method of finding the preserve in the first place can be repeated. It was also a much-needed break in routine, and a chance to see some more of the state that fate has made my residence for the time being. I'd still like to see Texas, too. A friend is from El Paso, and tells me it's quite the place to see, if you don't mind the heat. The last few weeks have seen temperatures consistently over 100, so I guess I really don't have too many options there. But it made me feel glad to be here- not just here in the South, but out on a great warm summer day.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Today's Reading
I had the day off today, so as is often the case when I have a few minutes (or longer) to spare, I decided to do a Tarot reading. Being something of a collector of decks, I have had good success in familiarizing myself with various and sundry decks, though like most readers I do have my few favorites- those that I relate to best, and can readily make use of.
Likewise with readings- I find that learning a handful of readings well will work better than trying to learn the hundreds out there. So to date I have decided to confine myself to several- the Juggler's Conundrum, the Hecate Spread, the Celtic Cross (along with my own variation), and finally the Horseshoe Spread. Of these, I find the Horseshoe Spread to work best as a daily reading. One curious thing, though- there is a position called Obstacles, which tells of things in the way- however, I find more often than not this tells of both obstacles and assets- things that could be useful, though could also prove a hindrance. Some people see a stepping stone, others a stumbling block- how curious the stone itself remains unchanged. At any rate, this is today's Horseshoe Spread-
The first position represents the Past- as you can guess, this tells of what has been, and that being the case, here I saw the 3 of Pentacles. This indicates an application of skill- things moving along, growing and developing. In the Past position, this tells of a firm foundation built on hard work.
The next position is the Present- again, pretty self-explanatory. Here the message is what's influencing the situation currently. And here I found the Page of Cups. Pages are the most malleable and shapeable court cards in the suits. They represent the unformed energy of the suits- one deck I encountered calls them Elementals, of their corresponding elements- fire, air, water and earth. At any rate, this tells of great potential- there is a good deal waiting to happen, and the wheels are now set in motion, I gather from the Three.
The next position is the Future- those things that will come to pass, assuming everything stays on track so far. Here was the card of Judgement- that is, things concealed will be brought to light- perhaps even tearing the scars off of old wounds (sorry for the graphic image there). Though this may be painful, in some cases necessary for healing. It's in some ways the 'skeletons in the closet' card- those things long concealed and swept under the rug now come to full awareness. It's up to you to deal with them, or run in terror. Though the best bet is to face them down, and not flee.
In the next position is the Best Course of Action- here is the 9 of Pentacles. What is this card doing here? Telling me to slack off and do nothing? Well, the Pentacles are, after all, an Earth suit. Earth indicates healing, support and nurturing energy. So this card tells me to look to that healing energy all around- don't be afraid to use it, you can no more use it up than you could eat the whole of the earth.
Next up is the fifth position, telling of influences on the situation. Here was the 2 of Cups- again, telling me of support and strength. Also, new unions, new partnerships. This yet again reinforces the idea of a union made in and/or ordained by heaven- though a divorce is pending, there is one who I'm meant to be with- that seems pretty obviously to be Tabatha- how else to explain all that has happened?
The sixth position tells of obstacles, though I find that this position for me more frequently tells of unseen 'stepping stones'- those things I may not even be consciously aware of, but nontetheless hold me up. Here was the Hierophant- alternately, the Pope. The Hierophant represents secular authority, perhaps a law-giver or justice. In other words, it looks like this divorce is really for the best, and the judge can make the determination as to what is best for the kids. Good! I would have it no other way.
The final and seventh position tells of the Outcome- what will happen in the longer run. Here is your friend and mine, the Hanged Man. He has always to me represented Odin, hanging from the Tree of Life, in extreme discomfort, though for a purpose. He seeks the wisdom that only this way can provide for him, and he does gain it. It tells me that any sacrifice, any pain will only be for the best- that which doesn't kill us can either make us extremely uncomfortable, or make us stronger. Personally, I try to find the rationale that it'll make us stronger. Never flinch when those big old demons stare you in the face- hell, if you have to go down, might as well do it fighting! Besides, there's neither a guarantee of a loss or a victory in this fight- let the cards (so to speak) fall where they may.
Likewise with readings- I find that learning a handful of readings well will work better than trying to learn the hundreds out there. So to date I have decided to confine myself to several- the Juggler's Conundrum, the Hecate Spread, the Celtic Cross (along with my own variation), and finally the Horseshoe Spread. Of these, I find the Horseshoe Spread to work best as a daily reading. One curious thing, though- there is a position called Obstacles, which tells of things in the way- however, I find more often than not this tells of both obstacles and assets- things that could be useful, though could also prove a hindrance. Some people see a stepping stone, others a stumbling block- how curious the stone itself remains unchanged. At any rate, this is today's Horseshoe Spread-
The first position represents the Past- as you can guess, this tells of what has been, and that being the case, here I saw the 3 of Pentacles. This indicates an application of skill- things moving along, growing and developing. In the Past position, this tells of a firm foundation built on hard work.
The next position is the Present- again, pretty self-explanatory. Here the message is what's influencing the situation currently. And here I found the Page of Cups. Pages are the most malleable and shapeable court cards in the suits. They represent the unformed energy of the suits- one deck I encountered calls them Elementals, of their corresponding elements- fire, air, water and earth. At any rate, this tells of great potential- there is a good deal waiting to happen, and the wheels are now set in motion, I gather from the Three.
The next position is the Future- those things that will come to pass, assuming everything stays on track so far. Here was the card of Judgement- that is, things concealed will be brought to light- perhaps even tearing the scars off of old wounds (sorry for the graphic image there). Though this may be painful, in some cases necessary for healing. It's in some ways the 'skeletons in the closet' card- those things long concealed and swept under the rug now come to full awareness. It's up to you to deal with them, or run in terror. Though the best bet is to face them down, and not flee.
In the next position is the Best Course of Action- here is the 9 of Pentacles. What is this card doing here? Telling me to slack off and do nothing? Well, the Pentacles are, after all, an Earth suit. Earth indicates healing, support and nurturing energy. So this card tells me to look to that healing energy all around- don't be afraid to use it, you can no more use it up than you could eat the whole of the earth.
Next up is the fifth position, telling of influences on the situation. Here was the 2 of Cups- again, telling me of support and strength. Also, new unions, new partnerships. This yet again reinforces the idea of a union made in and/or ordained by heaven- though a divorce is pending, there is one who I'm meant to be with- that seems pretty obviously to be Tabatha- how else to explain all that has happened?
The sixth position tells of obstacles, though I find that this position for me more frequently tells of unseen 'stepping stones'- those things I may not even be consciously aware of, but nontetheless hold me up. Here was the Hierophant- alternately, the Pope. The Hierophant represents secular authority, perhaps a law-giver or justice. In other words, it looks like this divorce is really for the best, and the judge can make the determination as to what is best for the kids. Good! I would have it no other way.
The final and seventh position tells of the Outcome- what will happen in the longer run. Here is your friend and mine, the Hanged Man. He has always to me represented Odin, hanging from the Tree of Life, in extreme discomfort, though for a purpose. He seeks the wisdom that only this way can provide for him, and he does gain it. It tells me that any sacrifice, any pain will only be for the best- that which doesn't kill us can either make us extremely uncomfortable, or make us stronger. Personally, I try to find the rationale that it'll make us stronger. Never flinch when those big old demons stare you in the face- hell, if you have to go down, might as well do it fighting! Besides, there's neither a guarantee of a loss or a victory in this fight- let the cards (so to speak) fall where they may.
"Little Gray Cells"
Tabatha, the love of my life, has puppy-sitting duties today. She loves kids and dogs, so I guess that's an ideal combination. She has already given a name to one of the puppies she would like to adopt (and I'm behind her on this one, I love dogs myself). She named the little fellow Hercules, though I can't help but call him Hercule, after my mother's favorite literary detective. For those who don't get the reference, it's Hercule Poirot, one of Agatha Christie's more memorable characters. M. Poirot is a mustachioed, dapper gentleman of Belgian extraction, and a great advocate of exercising the "little gray cells", which he credits with solving a number of crimes. Hercule/s the puppy, to the best of my knowledge, does not solve crimes, yet displays a decided dislike of being on his back, and a decided preference both for growing and eating. After all, he is a baby, and my experience has been this is a preference for babies both human and canine.
Speaking of which, I have had the privelege to meet several babies during my time at Fort Sill, as well as Kate the dog. Kate is cared for by one of the First Sergeants of our brigade, and is friendly as the day is long. I would have liked to meet her under different circumstances, as I was pulling extra duty at the time. She appears to be partly or mostly German Shepherd, and like most dogs identifies a friend by smell. I wonder what an enemy smells like to a dog? How strange that dogs relate to the world through smell, while us humans rely partially on smell, primarily on visual. Especially males, or so I'm told. However, smell is one of the first senses to develop, and human babies can identify dear Mom through smell rather than sight. There is a process of the brain called taste aversion, in which those things that make us sick, or we associate with being ill will become distasteful to us. Going back to mothers, my own mom does not like Jordan almonds for this reason- the first time she tried them she was sick, so in her excellent brain the taste of them became associated with being ill. Obviously this serves some evolutionary functions, as an ability to identify those things that make us sick is a contributing factor towards survival.
Speaking of the little gray cells, there is an interesting parallel here in A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess. An interesting book, to be sure. It is partially written in the slang language of Nadsat, which is apparently a derivative of some Russian-area language or another. At any rate, it deals with what is commonly known in psychological circles as classical conditioning. The basic idea is the same as the Jordan almonds- a neutral stimulus, say, a sound, a visual image, or similar is paired with a negative or positive stimulus- for animals, getting food, a treat, or something similar. The result is, as time goes on, that the conditioned stimulus (that is, the neutral stimulus) creates the same response in the person or animal as does the conditioned stimulus paired with the positive or negative stimulus.
This is how dogs and other animals are trained. It becomes automatic to respond in the same way to the conditioned stimulus when it has been paired so often with the unconditioned (positive or negative) stimulus. Of course, in the case of us humans, there's another factor involved. That is our own mental response to the stimulus, and our own thoughts. In the case of higher animals such as man, this can act as a positive reinforcement for behaviors.
All in all, what role does doing good play in all this? Is it nothing more than our own brains releasing positive chemicals? Well, yes and no. This oh-so-clinical model rules out an element that I very much believe to exist- the human spirit. I believe this spirit is responsible for both man's highest, loftiest goals and his deepest depravations. This human spirit can be corrupted, or be made responsible for our highest, most compassionate aspirations. Does this reinforce behavior? Only on the most base and chemical level. Above that, I believe it to be the fact of one spirit communing with another- it does no one good to see another person degraded, that crawling which should run. Though lacking in any real proof, I feel it intuitively. At any rate, that's about all the news for now. Hope you like the new format, and I'll keep you posted, dear readers!
Speaking of which, I have had the privelege to meet several babies during my time at Fort Sill, as well as Kate the dog. Kate is cared for by one of the First Sergeants of our brigade, and is friendly as the day is long. I would have liked to meet her under different circumstances, as I was pulling extra duty at the time. She appears to be partly or mostly German Shepherd, and like most dogs identifies a friend by smell. I wonder what an enemy smells like to a dog? How strange that dogs relate to the world through smell, while us humans rely partially on smell, primarily on visual. Especially males, or so I'm told. However, smell is one of the first senses to develop, and human babies can identify dear Mom through smell rather than sight. There is a process of the brain called taste aversion, in which those things that make us sick, or we associate with being ill will become distasteful to us. Going back to mothers, my own mom does not like Jordan almonds for this reason- the first time she tried them she was sick, so in her excellent brain the taste of them became associated with being ill. Obviously this serves some evolutionary functions, as an ability to identify those things that make us sick is a contributing factor towards survival.
Speaking of the little gray cells, there is an interesting parallel here in A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess. An interesting book, to be sure. It is partially written in the slang language of Nadsat, which is apparently a derivative of some Russian-area language or another. At any rate, it deals with what is commonly known in psychological circles as classical conditioning. The basic idea is the same as the Jordan almonds- a neutral stimulus, say, a sound, a visual image, or similar is paired with a negative or positive stimulus- for animals, getting food, a treat, or something similar. The result is, as time goes on, that the conditioned stimulus (that is, the neutral stimulus) creates the same response in the person or animal as does the conditioned stimulus paired with the positive or negative stimulus.
This is how dogs and other animals are trained. It becomes automatic to respond in the same way to the conditioned stimulus when it has been paired so often with the unconditioned (positive or negative) stimulus. Of course, in the case of us humans, there's another factor involved. That is our own mental response to the stimulus, and our own thoughts. In the case of higher animals such as man, this can act as a positive reinforcement for behaviors.
All in all, what role does doing good play in all this? Is it nothing more than our own brains releasing positive chemicals? Well, yes and no. This oh-so-clinical model rules out an element that I very much believe to exist- the human spirit. I believe this spirit is responsible for both man's highest, loftiest goals and his deepest depravations. This human spirit can be corrupted, or be made responsible for our highest, most compassionate aspirations. Does this reinforce behavior? Only on the most base and chemical level. Above that, I believe it to be the fact of one spirit communing with another- it does no one good to see another person degraded, that crawling which should run. Though lacking in any real proof, I feel it intuitively. At any rate, that's about all the news for now. Hope you like the new format, and I'll keep you posted, dear readers!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Correlation Is Not Causation
Today is Wednesday- a good day, all things considered. I went to a blood drive this morning, but got turned down. The problem being, I had had a tattoo done in the last 12 months, and it was out of state. The Oklahoma Blood Institute has a list of tattoo parlors they know to be safe. Obviously, somewhere in the far-flung corners of New England was not on their list, though I'd recommend the place- Visual Expressions in East Hartford, CT. Just in case you were wondering.
As a result of this, I found myself kind of at loose ends for most of the day. So I decided to study for the test coming up this afternoon. It would probably be a conscious effort to fail it, but then again, knowing first aid very well never hurts. Besides, it'll give me time to recover from this morning's workout- my knee has been a little sore lately, though I doubt it's anything serious. Probably just overdoing it a tad. That, and it's just too darn hot. I was somewhat glad to find this out, though would have liked to have known that before I went out in it yesterday afternoon! It's been consitently breaking 100 degrees, which does not a comfortable run make. So it's soon back to bang out this test, then pretty much goof off until it's time to (you guessed it) go work out again. Lawton is not the bright center to the universe, but the lack of anything going on means plenty of time to get in shape. Speaking of which, time to get down there shortly- not that the gym's going anywhere, but on the other hand, there is air conditioning.
In other news, I passed all my first-aid requirements, which means at some point before I retire I'll get a certificate saying that I did, in fact, pass the course. Which means I report back to the motor pool tomorrow to make sure it's adequately closed down, squared away and locked up. Which it should be, when you put me in charge of it. After that, it's the weekend, which means... well, not much actually. Probably just wander around town, hang out at the library, or read yet another book. Could be worse, actually. Could be a lot worse. I'm giving some thought to having another tattoo done- perhaps I'm one of the few people who doesn't mind needles. Well, I mean, my idea of a fun evening isn't sitting around poking myself in the arms with needles, but they really don't hurt that much. Either that, or pain doesn't bother me. I hear pain is a relative concept, as it's at least partly in your head. The rest is in your nerves, which are just doing their job. Of course, if you wind up getting really hurt, you go into shock of one type or another, which apparently is a defense mechanism. Interesting! Again, not that I'm planning to go out and get really hurt, I figure it's best to avoid that. On a somewhat related note, get this- it's actually a punishable offense to get a sunburn under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Why? Damaging government property, ha ha. No, I'm serious. Technically in some sense, that's true. (We're the only government property not manufactured by the lowest bidder...)
At any rate, things continue on much as they always have. I'm plowing onwards towards an inevitable end, and to paraphrase a song,
I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told
For Beelzebub has never seen
A soldier quite like me
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
And I do it all for free
You're all the pay I'll ever need
Now, on to the surreality that constitutes my every day existence!
As a result of this, I found myself kind of at loose ends for most of the day. So I decided to study for the test coming up this afternoon. It would probably be a conscious effort to fail it, but then again, knowing first aid very well never hurts. Besides, it'll give me time to recover from this morning's workout- my knee has been a little sore lately, though I doubt it's anything serious. Probably just overdoing it a tad. That, and it's just too darn hot. I was somewhat glad to find this out, though would have liked to have known that before I went out in it yesterday afternoon! It's been consitently breaking 100 degrees, which does not a comfortable run make. So it's soon back to bang out this test, then pretty much goof off until it's time to (you guessed it) go work out again. Lawton is not the bright center to the universe, but the lack of anything going on means plenty of time to get in shape. Speaking of which, time to get down there shortly- not that the gym's going anywhere, but on the other hand, there is air conditioning.
In other news, I passed all my first-aid requirements, which means at some point before I retire I'll get a certificate saying that I did, in fact, pass the course. Which means I report back to the motor pool tomorrow to make sure it's adequately closed down, squared away and locked up. Which it should be, when you put me in charge of it. After that, it's the weekend, which means... well, not much actually. Probably just wander around town, hang out at the library, or read yet another book. Could be worse, actually. Could be a lot worse. I'm giving some thought to having another tattoo done- perhaps I'm one of the few people who doesn't mind needles. Well, I mean, my idea of a fun evening isn't sitting around poking myself in the arms with needles, but they really don't hurt that much. Either that, or pain doesn't bother me. I hear pain is a relative concept, as it's at least partly in your head. The rest is in your nerves, which are just doing their job. Of course, if you wind up getting really hurt, you go into shock of one type or another, which apparently is a defense mechanism. Interesting! Again, not that I'm planning to go out and get really hurt, I figure it's best to avoid that. On a somewhat related note, get this- it's actually a punishable offense to get a sunburn under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Why? Damaging government property, ha ha. No, I'm serious. Technically in some sense, that's true. (We're the only government property not manufactured by the lowest bidder...)
At any rate, things continue on much as they always have. I'm plowing onwards towards an inevitable end, and to paraphrase a song,
I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told
For Beelzebub has never seen
A soldier quite like me
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
And I do it all for free
You're all the pay I'll ever need
Now, on to the surreality that constitutes my every day existence!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Horned Men, Iron Hearts
This morning was something of a rara avis- I actually had a few minutes to spare in the morning- usually between breakfast and morning PT it's a pretty tight squeeze. So I sat down to do a Tarot reading, and picked up a deck that's sat on my shelf for a while, though I never really found opportunity to use it. It's called the Herbal Tarot, and I wound up with it after the love of my life left it down here in Oklahoma. It's basically a Rider-Waite derived deck, where each card is given a correspondence to an herb or plant. I don't really know that much at all about plants, except that they grow in the ground and many of them taste good.
Not that this actually has much bearing on the cards, as the cards are unlikely to taste good. I did find the deck surprisingly, well, responsive. This often happens with time and certain decks- I've heard a hundred and one explanations, but I tend to think it's largely psychological; you get comfortable and familiar with a deck, and interpreting the cards becomes an easy matter. However, this deck was one I had used only on rare occasions, although perhaps it's just easy to use.
As I went along, I noticed some odd changes to the cards- though the deck follows to a general extent the Rider-Waite/Golden Dawn system, there were a few puzzling substitutions. The first one I noticed was the High Priestess in this deck is the High Priest, though the two bear many of the same symbols- the two pillars, for example, and somewhat similar attire. I wonder why this change was made? The next I noticed was that the Devil was replaced with Pan, (the Greek god, not pan to fry eggs in). This one still confuses me, as the origin of the card is a figure called Baphomet, though I think the Judeo-Christian Devil kind of gives maybe a better picture here. At any rate, there is a Judeo-Christian connection, as Pan was proclaimed dead at one point, and Christians have kind of latched onto that as an indication that Pan was really Satan, and the fact of his death corresponded with the resurrection of Christ. Hence the occurence of the goat figure in the decks as the Devil- possibly. This is all conjecture, of course. I don't think anyone really knows, least of all me.
The next card I noticed was that the Hanged Man had been replaced with the Suspended Person. Political correctness aside, this makes some degree of sense. Hanging carries a connotation of death, though the Hanged Man hangs by his ankle rather than his neck. The fact that he's suspended underwater in this depiction is an interesting one- water often carries the context of birth or rebirth, or a primal life-giving element, and the Hanged Man in a general sense can refer to new knowledge coming through sacrifice, or life-changing knowledge leaving the learner forever altered. You could say that the sacrifice in this case is comfort, or the old, familiar way of life in the old, familiar world we thought we understood. But then again, change is inevitable, it's what we do with it that counts.
So, classes aside, that's about all the news that's fit to print. I do have a guardian angel of sorts, as my dear Kitty is watching over me. Not a deceased pet, or a feline at all for that matter- more of a fox, ha ha. But that would be my fiancee, who has the somewhat unnerving ability to reach out to me across whatever ether there is between us. She can pick out details of my immediate surroundings correctly, and can actually come in contact with me in some sense. How exactly she does this I don't know, some form of projection more than likely. She is a firecracker, that one. It's kind of nice to know there's someone at my shoulder, though I'd rather she be there in the flesh as well. But in time, the wheels of this particular machine are set in motion. I've been getting the consistent message from the cards that the mechanisms to bring us together are in place, and it's just a question of setting that juggernaut in motion, then guide it to the end I wish. The impression I get is pretty much that- a huge unstoppable force, with all the power of the universe behind it, just waiting for me to release the brakes. It seems (still) that there is some greater purpose that says go with her, you two need to be together. It could be some strange thing that we'll never even realize until much later, but there it is. Or it could just be that firecracker herself, which somehow would not surprise me either. But at any rate, things are falling into place- what's left to do except go for it? I've waited too long already, and have no intention of continuing to do so. Too much time has been wasted already, and though I have a long life ahead of me, why waste the days I have left?
Not that this actually has much bearing on the cards, as the cards are unlikely to taste good. I did find the deck surprisingly, well, responsive. This often happens with time and certain decks- I've heard a hundred and one explanations, but I tend to think it's largely psychological; you get comfortable and familiar with a deck, and interpreting the cards becomes an easy matter. However, this deck was one I had used only on rare occasions, although perhaps it's just easy to use.
As I went along, I noticed some odd changes to the cards- though the deck follows to a general extent the Rider-Waite/Golden Dawn system, there were a few puzzling substitutions. The first one I noticed was the High Priestess in this deck is the High Priest, though the two bear many of the same symbols- the two pillars, for example, and somewhat similar attire. I wonder why this change was made? The next I noticed was that the Devil was replaced with Pan, (the Greek god, not pan to fry eggs in). This one still confuses me, as the origin of the card is a figure called Baphomet, though I think the Judeo-Christian Devil kind of gives maybe a better picture here. At any rate, there is a Judeo-Christian connection, as Pan was proclaimed dead at one point, and Christians have kind of latched onto that as an indication that Pan was really Satan, and the fact of his death corresponded with the resurrection of Christ. Hence the occurence of the goat figure in the decks as the Devil- possibly. This is all conjecture, of course. I don't think anyone really knows, least of all me.
The next card I noticed was that the Hanged Man had been replaced with the Suspended Person. Political correctness aside, this makes some degree of sense. Hanging carries a connotation of death, though the Hanged Man hangs by his ankle rather than his neck. The fact that he's suspended underwater in this depiction is an interesting one- water often carries the context of birth or rebirth, or a primal life-giving element, and the Hanged Man in a general sense can refer to new knowledge coming through sacrifice, or life-changing knowledge leaving the learner forever altered. You could say that the sacrifice in this case is comfort, or the old, familiar way of life in the old, familiar world we thought we understood. But then again, change is inevitable, it's what we do with it that counts.
So, classes aside, that's about all the news that's fit to print. I do have a guardian angel of sorts, as my dear Kitty is watching over me. Not a deceased pet, or a feline at all for that matter- more of a fox, ha ha. But that would be my fiancee, who has the somewhat unnerving ability to reach out to me across whatever ether there is between us. She can pick out details of my immediate surroundings correctly, and can actually come in contact with me in some sense. How exactly she does this I don't know, some form of projection more than likely. She is a firecracker, that one. It's kind of nice to know there's someone at my shoulder, though I'd rather she be there in the flesh as well. But in time, the wheels of this particular machine are set in motion. I've been getting the consistent message from the cards that the mechanisms to bring us together are in place, and it's just a question of setting that juggernaut in motion, then guide it to the end I wish. The impression I get is pretty much that- a huge unstoppable force, with all the power of the universe behind it, just waiting for me to release the brakes. It seems (still) that there is some greater purpose that says go with her, you two need to be together. It could be some strange thing that we'll never even realize until much later, but there it is. Or it could just be that firecracker herself, which somehow would not surprise me either. But at any rate, things are falling into place- what's left to do except go for it? I've waited too long already, and have no intention of continuing to do so. Too much time has been wasted already, and though I have a long life ahead of me, why waste the days I have left?
Bloody Tuesday
It's hot down here! Usually the heat isn't that big a deal, but lately it's been humid on top of that, making it stifling. But that's why there's air conditioners, I suppose. Or in my case, why the windows in the car roll down. Today is part 2 of the CLS class I got drafted for, which stands for Combat Life Saver- basically, first aid training, so if someone is shot, blown up or otherwise injured during combat, or when help is not readily on hand, you can save them. Gone, apparently, are the days of relying on medics, although medics can do a good deal more than we can.
Today was IV practice, which involves putting a needle and catheter into a vein on another person, then setting up a saline line. This is used in the case of a drastic drop in blood volume, which can result in (big word time) hypovolemic shock. Basically, as your blood runs out, it ceases to carry oxygen- body tissues begin to die, resulting ultimately in organ failure. That's bad. Why saline solution is used, I've never been entirely certain. I think it's to replace the blood volume, and what is likely to happen is an increased heart and respiration rate, as the body tries to compensate for the diminished oxygen-carrying capacityof the blood. (see, you learned something by reading my blog!). So, if you're going to go sticking IV lines in people, it's best to know how to do it. Probably the hardest part of this is hitting a vein, and hitting it right. If you miss, the saline just pools under the skin, and I'm told, hurts like hell. Luckily veins are fairly easy to find. So I managed to succesfully put a line in someone else on the first try, and it only took two tries for him to get me. The first time went south because the catheter (which stays in your arm- the needle doesn't) wasn't lodged in all the way, and buckled as it went, so we had to start over, making sure the needle was all the way in. You do bleed a little bit doing this, as it's hard to put enough pressure on the vein to prevent it from leaking. A little messy, but certainly
not dangerous unless you can't stand the sight of blood. It was surprisingly dark, being venous blood, with no oxygen in it. Arterial blood has oxygen, as it comes from your lungs- venous blood goes the opposite way, and gets exchanged in the lungs. It was a darkish maroon color, and oddly enough didn't change color when it hit the air. Another urban legend dismantled, I guess. The veins under your skin appear blue not because the blood is blue, but the actual veins themselves that carry the blood are blue. Why blue, I don't know. Different colors would look kind of cool, I think.
At any rate, things are about the same as always here. I've been hitting the gym religiously, not because I'm obsessed with my appearance, but because it burns off a lot of stress, and gives me something to do while living in the barracks. I don't own a TV, though I watch a lot of movies and read tons of books- mostly detective novels, for some reason. I'm also running every other day, again, not that I'm obsessed, just that there's nothing else to do really. And besides, there are some pretty interesting places to run to on post. I haven't spent too much time running off post, but will have to see what's out there as well. Oklahoma is considerably different than New England, as the land is much more wide open, with less forests. The hills are somewhat fewer, but they make up for that by being considerably larger. All in all, a good place to run, if you don't mind the heat.
Tomorrow is a test on the first aid stuff I'm studying, which shouldn't be too bad. After all, it's multiple choice. Fortunately, it's not hands on- go blow someone up, then tend to the casualty! Apart from that, I'm keeping busy getting divorced. Frankly, I waited for my (soon-to-be) ex to drop off the papers, and that never happened. I hate to say it, but I begin to doubt the existence of said papers. I sent her papers to sign and return- likewise, all quiet on the Western front. Okay, this gives me some idea where we stand. I don't want to be "that guy" as far as this divorce is concerned, but well, I don't really see much of a choice.
Well, now that I'm getting back into the swing of things after returning from leave (same shit, new day), it seems like a short time before everything comes together, life goes on, and we all live happily ever after. I'm planning on filing the paperwork this Friday, as I get paid then. The meager restitution that makes this job worthwhile. Actually, if it wasn't worthwhile, I wouldn't be doing it. Glad I'm off extra duty, and the next time I see the staff duty desk, it'll be because I'm on duty, not to go sign off on clean latrines. So it's going to be a kind-of long weekend, as I have staff duty this Sunday. Staff duty means I hold down a desk at the battalion HQ, answer any phone calls and stay put in case of an emergency. Do this for 24 hours, then take the next day off. So although I could think of a few other things to do with a Sunday, it means no need to report on Monday. I hear we have this Friday off too, though why I really don't know. So soon it'll be off to the afternoon, where hopefully the rest of the day will go smoothly. I hope you all enjoy the uninteresting details of my day to day life, and I'll try to keep it interesting in the future!
Today was IV practice, which involves putting a needle and catheter into a vein on another person, then setting up a saline line. This is used in the case of a drastic drop in blood volume, which can result in (big word time) hypovolemic shock. Basically, as your blood runs out, it ceases to carry oxygen- body tissues begin to die, resulting ultimately in organ failure. That's bad. Why saline solution is used, I've never been entirely certain. I think it's to replace the blood volume, and what is likely to happen is an increased heart and respiration rate, as the body tries to compensate for the diminished oxygen-carrying capacityof the blood. (see, you learned something by reading my blog!). So, if you're going to go sticking IV lines in people, it's best to know how to do it. Probably the hardest part of this is hitting a vein, and hitting it right. If you miss, the saline just pools under the skin, and I'm told, hurts like hell. Luckily veins are fairly easy to find. So I managed to succesfully put a line in someone else on the first try, and it only took two tries for him to get me. The first time went south because the catheter (which stays in your arm- the needle doesn't) wasn't lodged in all the way, and buckled as it went, so we had to start over, making sure the needle was all the way in. You do bleed a little bit doing this, as it's hard to put enough pressure on the vein to prevent it from leaking. A little messy, but certainly
not dangerous unless you can't stand the sight of blood. It was surprisingly dark, being venous blood, with no oxygen in it. Arterial blood has oxygen, as it comes from your lungs- venous blood goes the opposite way, and gets exchanged in the lungs. It was a darkish maroon color, and oddly enough didn't change color when it hit the air. Another urban legend dismantled, I guess. The veins under your skin appear blue not because the blood is blue, but the actual veins themselves that carry the blood are blue. Why blue, I don't know. Different colors would look kind of cool, I think.
At any rate, things are about the same as always here. I've been hitting the gym religiously, not because I'm obsessed with my appearance, but because it burns off a lot of stress, and gives me something to do while living in the barracks. I don't own a TV, though I watch a lot of movies and read tons of books- mostly detective novels, for some reason. I'm also running every other day, again, not that I'm obsessed, just that there's nothing else to do really. And besides, there are some pretty interesting places to run to on post. I haven't spent too much time running off post, but will have to see what's out there as well. Oklahoma is considerably different than New England, as the land is much more wide open, with less forests. The hills are somewhat fewer, but they make up for that by being considerably larger. All in all, a good place to run, if you don't mind the heat.
Tomorrow is a test on the first aid stuff I'm studying, which shouldn't be too bad. After all, it's multiple choice. Fortunately, it's not hands on- go blow someone up, then tend to the casualty! Apart from that, I'm keeping busy getting divorced. Frankly, I waited for my (soon-to-be) ex to drop off the papers, and that never happened. I hate to say it, but I begin to doubt the existence of said papers. I sent her papers to sign and return- likewise, all quiet on the Western front. Okay, this gives me some idea where we stand. I don't want to be "that guy" as far as this divorce is concerned, but well, I don't really see much of a choice.
Well, now that I'm getting back into the swing of things after returning from leave (same shit, new day), it seems like a short time before everything comes together, life goes on, and we all live happily ever after. I'm planning on filing the paperwork this Friday, as I get paid then. The meager restitution that makes this job worthwhile. Actually, if it wasn't worthwhile, I wouldn't be doing it. Glad I'm off extra duty, and the next time I see the staff duty desk, it'll be because I'm on duty, not to go sign off on clean latrines. So it's going to be a kind-of long weekend, as I have staff duty this Sunday. Staff duty means I hold down a desk at the battalion HQ, answer any phone calls and stay put in case of an emergency. Do this for 24 hours, then take the next day off. So although I could think of a few other things to do with a Sunday, it means no need to report on Monday. I hear we have this Friday off too, though why I really don't know. So soon it'll be off to the afternoon, where hopefully the rest of the day will go smoothly. I hope you all enjoy the uninteresting details of my day to day life, and I'll try to keep it interesting in the future!
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