Questions In A World of Blue

When did my day, with all its light
Turn into night?
When all the world seemed to sing,
Why, why did you go?
Was it me,
Was it you?
-David Lynch, Questions in a World of Blue

I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
That old wind
Is howlin' like a cold steel train...
by the big mistake In the distance, man
I see myself start to smile
I got a real indication
of a laugh comin' on
- Also David Lynch, A Real Indication

Here it is, a pretty nice Friday afternoon in Twin Peaks, I mean Lawton. Today was what's called an organizational day- a day to relax, hang out with your coworkers, and generally just enjoy each others' company. A barbecue, I guess you'd say. Why the fancy name? I don't know. But I spent some of the morning and afternoon setting it up and tearing it down, which is OK. I don't mind.
Apart from that, the debate continues- move out of the barracks, or not? Will I be okay? Can I survive in the outside world? Coming into the barracks was a retreat; a chance to heal from the past, mostly the wounds inflicted by my own hands and mind. Is that time all done now? Regardless, is it time to move on? At some point you have to leave the asylum and go back into the world. Only wise men with long beards sit atop mountains. Besides, ultimately, after Tabatha and I are back together, we'll be in the same scenario we were in before. And what then?
The real root of the problem is that I want to get the hell out of the barracks- I don't have a functioning door key, and since I'm not officially assigned to that room, I can't get the problem fixed. Numerous times I've had to either request someone with a master key to come open the door, or improvise a solution. Now, it's no longer possible to get in that way- the master key is no longer kept in the barracks building. A good solution, on the surface- if you're fool enough to lock your key out, you have to go halfway across post to correct the situation. However, the old adage about how the soldiers themselves are the only thing not produced by the lowest bidder very much holds true. The keys, the magnetic cards similar to the ones you see in hotels, frequently stop working. Then it's a trip up to the housing office to get the key replaced. Assuming, of course, they have record of you staying in that room. Which in my case, they don't. On top of this, my room is developing a mold problem due to the broken air conditioning- not its absence, but rather its continual and unwavering presence. It's actually too cold in the room, leading, of course, in this climate, to moisture. Hence mold I seem powerless to remove. All in all, it's kind of a pain in the ass. I don't mind living with other people, in fact have come to prefer it to living alone. So my thoughts were, since I'm still receiving a stipend for rent, why not take a small part of that and put it towards renting a room in town? In most regards similar to the barracks, except that I won't have to pick the lock or go in through the window to get there. Of course, either this or the barracks are a strictly temporary solution, as my days of single life are very much numbered- I intend to see to that personally, no matter what the cost. Yet caution is called for, don't rush in, as the consequences of rushing in are all too well known to me.
So on the fence I remain, at least for the time being. Will things change down the road? They well might. But for now, I'm still considering the options.