A Knight To Remember

Okay, I don't get it either. But it strikes me as a bad idea, both the poking badgers part and the advertising to the general public that you do in fact poke badgers.
I read Tabatha's blog, and how she thinks things have changed- how I don't talk as much, and how things seem different.
It's true, it seems like I'll never get back to Connecticut, but not for lack of trying! That's a part of it, that it seems like whenever I have time to go, no money- when I have money, no time! But I know what it means to her, and want to be back there. In fact, I kind of like the idea of rolling into town, 220 lbs of muscle and guts, and show the people I once knew what happens when you begin to stop doubting your own potential. Like I said before, the NCO board awaits. When, how and where, I don't know. But soon. I want to make a positive difference, and besides, someone needs to lead the 696th to their rightful place in the vanguard of this post. Actually, myself and the other members of the First Platoon get drafted for a lot of missions and details. Why? Because they want to overwork us and see us fail? Well, maybe. Regardless, (and I think this is a more likely explanation) when they call on my platoon, we get it done not only to standard, but above and beyond. So part of this change is simple fatigue- I come home and collapse, as usually my work day is followed by a trip to the gym. We are infinitely adaptable to changing circumstances and demanding jobs, but at the end of the day we're pretty much dead from the neck up.
Another part of it is that I know that Tabatha wants to see me again, and I want to propose to her. (don't worry, didn't give away any big surprises there- fairly certain she knows that). However, what she doesn't know is the where, how and when. I have to continue to push through the swamp of this divorce, which turns out to be ever more costly and time-consuming. And time is the one thing I have a great deal of, but would rather use it in different ways- like working towards a new life and a new marriage, getting my own place, all that good stuff. My roommate is the coolest guy I know, but at the same time, I figure I should invest in my own place when I can do that. But I also need to get back to CT, and guess what? Airfare is about the same amount as a security deposit would be on a decent apartment. Unfortunately, unlike me my financial resources can't do everything at once. So I feel bad about this, as I need to do more. I can't see how, but am certain a solution is there, I just haven't realized it quite yet.
Well, hopefully this clarifies things, although it leaves a great deal of unanswered questions in my own head. In time, perhaps, understanding will continue, and things will become easier. I can only hope.