Zen Again

It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute
-Voltaire, When You're Evil

Seems somehow we've made it to Thursday. This would generally be a good thing, and I'm actually kind of looking forward to the mission tonight, as going on mission is a pretty cool time, though occasionally stressful. Although to a large extent, I've learned to laugh at it- some of the monumental inefficiencies we have to deal with and general snafus can be pretty amusing in context, and when I'm stuck waiting on someone else, it's a good time to catch up on some sleep. The chow hall likes to do this, I'm told- mess with our schedules as a kind of petty revenge for the fact that they have to work nights and weekends. Kind of like I do, lately. Looks like another chunk of my weekend is missing, as I have to pull guard duty again this weekend. Why do they hate the puppies? Well, it's an evening shift- if it had been a morning shift I would have said no way. Getting up at 3:15 every morning is all well and good, but it's beginning to wear on me, as it is all of us, as is babysitting the artillery batteries. Though it would be cool to watch one of their live-fire exercises- it done blowed up real good like.
Tonight is another chow mission, which I actually kind of enjoy. We're always cracking jokes on the radio, (in addition to maintaining the convoy, obviously) and the drive is an interesting one, often filled with new sights. A couple nights ago I was driving a buddy back to the barracks, when holy smokes! There were seven deer in the field on the side of the road! I had never seen that many deer before! I also saw an eagle, circling low to the ground, no doubt having found something tasty to catch. And I had to confirm this one, but apparently I actually did see a couple spiders about the size of tarantulas in the road- managed not to hit them, they seemed to be trying to cross the road. Are there tarantulas in the South? I've heard they favor warm dry climates, but really don't know. There are some pretty hefty specimens out there, large brown spiders I've heard called grass spiders. Huge, but apparently not overly dangerous. Brown recluses are also present, though not as large, and prone to run away from people rather than bite them- most spider bites come from people accidentally getting one in a tent or sleeping bag- they bite when threatened, but in the wild are not aggressive.

And then there's the truck I drive, a 5-ton with cranky steering and a messed-up air filter, that for some reason purges with a blast and a hiss every minute or so. After a while it either drives you nuts, or you tune it out. (depends on the day and how pissed off I am). I kind of miss my old four-axle HEMTT, though, especially the all-wheel drive and transaxle differential, allowing it to do everything but climb trees, and it'd no doubt do that with a winch on the front. I'm going to have to try that sometime...

I can recall convoying through the Missouri wilds behind one Sergeant who was a slight bit crazy (pretty much as all of us 88Ms are to even take this job in the first place) who led us through various and strange terrains, including over downed trees, through deep water, transverse to steep slopes that left my co-driver wondering why we didn't roll the fool thing over. Because, was my answer- I'm just that good. And all talent aside, I feel a strange affinity for these huge rumbling steel beasts, and seem to have a knack for driving them, and have ever since I first climbed behind the wheel. The only thing that continues to throw me is the automatic push-button transmission. To be honest, I'd rather take the old ten- or seven-speed transmissions like you see on commercial semis, liking the greater degree of control over the vehicle this affords, at least in the warped way I drive. Besides, the problem is in the heavier vehicles it tends to lurch forwards when it shifts- you need to kind of factor this in when doing delicate maneuvers, and when your co-driver is getting out of the truck. Apart from that, the Detroit engines and Allison transmissions make a pretty formidable combination pretty much anywhere you might find yourself driving- and the military provides some pretty interesting ones.

Well, having said that, it's getting on near time to pop smoke and roll out, and find out what the mess hall has devised for our hungry buddies in the field- no doubt something quite edible- we may occasionally give them flack, but we have one hell of a crew of cooks!

As always, stay well, and avoid the Tenafly Viper!