Paint It Black

Today would have been a day off, but somewhere along the line there was yet another snafu in the duty roster. I got stuck with staff duty at the Brigade HQ. Not that I really mind pulling duty, I can take it or leave it. It's just the way it came down to me that, to be honest, really kind of stung. I'm one of the lowest ranking members of my squad, and most times this isn't an issue. I plan on working my merry way up the promotion ladder, and taking each lesson I learn with me when I get to the next level. However, this morning the phone rings at 0850 in the morning- duty begins at 0900- technically 0830, but this is kind of a grey area, and we never begrudge a few minutes here or there. At any rate, I get 'volunteered' for duty. But the thing is this- that everyone assumes I don't have anything better to do with my time, and that I can't really do anything about it anyway because of low rank. Everyone else (who, incidentally, is a rank or more above me) has a reason why they just can't give up a day off. Whether or not these are legitimate reasons, I choose not to speculate. I'd like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, though. But nonetheless, hearing that I had to report in 20 minutes ago just didn't sit right with me. I may be a soldier, but I have feelings too, and they can be hurt.
Am I just being too sensitive? It really made me feel like crap to get called out like that, and again, I don't want to complain or be a martyr, but I always try to do a little extra at work. Maybe I shouldn't expect any rewards for that; regardless of whether I should or not, I don't. The job needs to get done, pure and simple. If everyone else wants to sit around discussing it, okay. In the meanwhile, I'll go ahead and cut through the chase and just get whatever it is done. Today I could have volunteered (as opposed to 'volunteered') for this duty, but decided not to. I kind of was hoping someone else would pick up the slack for a change. But no, the same story seems to have repeated itself. Leave it for the lower enlisted to worry about. Again, maybe I'm just being too sensitive and cranky, I don't know. For the time being, I put all those thoughts aside and get the job done. Here, however, I have internet access, hence this entry. Honestly, I don't really know what to think about this-just frustration and a touch of anger that after pulling a previous 24-hour shift this week, I get stuck with another. Which leads me to wonder, what will happen when my children are here? Can I use that as an 'excuse' to get out of duty, or will I just get ordered in anyway? Needs of the Army, and all that. It seems like the needs of the Army weigh a little bit heavier on me than anyone else. But again, at this point all I have is my own perspective on the situation, and don't want to be jumping to unfair conclusions based on not knowing the whole story.
I also wonder if this explains the lack of promotion, though that too sounds awfully cynical. It could be convenient to have a lower enlisted knocking around to stick with all the crappy details that no one else wants- and this way the leadership has someone they can stick with duty, saving them a bunch of hassles. But again, that doesn't seem fair to say, and again I'm not sure that's the case at all. Sure seems that way, though. But again, I see no conclusions from this, and probably should just stop worrying about it. I do kind of feel like I'm the bottom of the food chain, though- maybe everyone starts out there, though. Regardless, it's a useful lesson to remember when I finally do make rank in this little corner of heaven. I hate sounding like I'm complaining though. To be honest, I'm not sure where the line is between complaining and real issues that need to be addressed. But at any rate, I'll be here for a long while, and have plenty of time to figure it out. Besides, I figured out how to run the coffee machine- it's the little things that get you through the day.